The 7th Month - Ranty, long, sorry

7 months into this attempt at an all meat way of eating. And everything has gone to shit.

Apologies upfront. This month I'm tired of diet blogging in general, even though I guess by definition I'm a diet blogger. Yes, I'm aware of the irony.

Initial thoughts/assessment

Current weight: 207 lbs. (2.8 lb gain)

Waist 89 cm, 35 in (unchanged since last month)

Hips 124 cm, 49 in (5 cm gain)

Right thigh 79 cm, 31 in (3 cm gain)

Left arm 42.5 cm, 16.75 in (.5 cm loss, maybe)

Forgot to measure my neck

I don't know what my problem was exactly, this month, sticking to the meat thing. I mean, I haven't really gained weight or size, which is good news. Possibilities:

• pressures of my expanding waistline (literally! in my jeans!); 
• the fact that the doctors can't seem to do anything about my hip pain other than tell me to go to physical therapy or take ibuprofen; 
• the dwindling daylight hours; 
• holiday season
• making healthcare plan decisions stressing me out
• the nagging thought that maybe I should just start fucking exercising again because it might improve my mood, but I'm kinda loathe/afraid to do so

Whatever the reason, this past month, I think I've had more days of eating crap than I have of just eating meat.

I'm in a diet quandary. Still trying to find MY personal Way Of Eating.

Nitty gritty

So at the start of month 7, I thought, I would move into a more keto type zero carb diet. For better blood sugars, and hopefully better fat loss.

Realistically, it meant more butter, bacon, eggs, heavy whipping cream, sour cream, cheese, and fattier beef/meat cuts. I also fired up myfitnesspal again and tracked what I ate, aiming for that golden 80% fat ratio. This meant sometimes I'd pour myself some HWC, measured out on the scale (oh, old friend), and add a splash of water to dilute. Then that would be my after dinner snack. Yep, weird.

I didn't want to limit calories again, since I'm trying to de-program myself from thinking calories are the absolute be all and end all when it comes to weight loss. If it was that easy, I'd be thin by now. So my goal was always 2700, ballpark number. Too much, maybe? Eh. I'm sick of being hungry, and that amount satisfied me.

On the paper wall calendar we keep at home near the fridge and the scale (such subliminal messages right?), I write down a check mark if I was able to eat only from the animal kingdom. If not, I put a sad face and summarize what I ate. Alcohol is exempt, because I've decided wine has to be in my life. Now and forevermore. Subject to change.

As I've typed out this little calendar ritual description just now, I realize how disordered and fucked up it sounds. THIS IS LIFE AS A FEMALE IN AMERICA.

Anyway. It's the life I've chosen for myself, continually, at least.

I was doing fine for a week or so on my ZC keto kick, and then they started handing out the free food at work. They do this a couple times a week when it gets to the "busy season." When one department is busy, everyone gets lunch catered in.

There is always some kind of sandwich, chips, and a cookie or dessert. And I just got tired of resisting. So I ate. I ate some more. I enjoooooyyyyyed. So sue me, I did.

After such enjoyment and a bit of extra overindulging from the omnipresent candy bowls of my coworkers, I would feel bad about it, and promise I'd do better the next day, and then I would, except for the times that I didn't.

I surmise that part of the reason that it's been easy for me to descend into processed carb land lately is because I'm obviously not one of those who is gluten intolerant, or has bad reactions to diary, or any of that. My body quietly absorbs anything and everything put into it, more or less. Hurray for that goddamn thrifty genotype.

I've been scanning my face for signs of more pimples than usual, and nothing. The worst thing so far I've seen symptom wise is that my head is slightly itchy and I have dandruff. I really wish I was the kind of person whose arthritis symptoms or gout would just flare and I'd be in agony. That'd show me not to eat cake.

I know - I should be careful what I wish for.

I've been reading Paul Bragg's godawful book about fasting. Don't pick it up, it will infuriate you. BUT, I'm kind of intrigued by the powers of the human body to heal itself, and I figured a weekly 24 hour fast like he advocates would be a fun thing to throw in the mix. Why not. This is a kitchen sink situation here, people.

So, I have been fasting. On Mondays for the past 4 weeks. Either I've eaten breakfast and then fasted until the following day's breakfast, or had Sunday dinner and then fasted until Monday's dinner. Just a day, no big whoop.

The first time I fasted, it went alright. Pretty steady blood sugar throughout the day, but it was dropping. I was still taking 11 units of Lantus nightly at that point.

The following week, I barely held on because my blood sugar just got too low. I did have a few fun size snickers bars in order to raise my blood sugar. After that, I decided to lower my Lantus dose to 9 units nightly, and so far that's worked pretty well, even during my fast days. The lowest I ever really get is in the 70s, but I feel fine. Hungry, colder than usual, but fine. Hope I'm not aggravating my thyroid too badly...

This week, before my amazing family comes and visits me for Thanksgiving, I'm sort of preparing for the face-stuffing. Cleansing, if you will (ugh, I know, sorry). In addition to my Monday, fast, I'm doing a 24-hr fast today, which is Friday. Saturday begins the whirlwind of exciting activities, and I'm going to just go with the flow. Be easy on myself. Eat what I want to eat and what feels good.

We're going to eat at a casino buffet on Thanskgiving. You're jealous, I can tell. My stomach is trembling in terror.

Wrapping it up

Having only gained 3 pounds maybe over the last month, I'm hoping this is a plateauing out. My body wants to be here, at 207 lbs, right now. Far be it from me to try and torture it into losing fat. That method has worked in the past, but historically, only short term. I don't know what my long term solution is, because every time I thought I found it, it was really only for, say, a year or two. RIP weight watchers, RIP paleo.

Maybe the fasting is helping offset the carbs I've eaten? Maybe it's also helping my skin? Maybe it's the coffee I've reinstated that's giving me some hidden benefits? There are too many fucking variables for me to ever figure out what's going on with my metabolism, so this month I've stopped trying.

 I don't know if this is the end of Diameatus. Maybe I just needed a break from all of the meat preparation and stress. I'm learning to be kinder to myself too. I was having a bit of a freakout because I'm traveling soon to meet up with some friends for a bachelorette weekend, and various pictures will be taken, so my fatness will be on display for posterity. Honestly, being in the presence of that many females with camera phones gives me more anxiety than this big-ass needle does.

Above all, I'm trying to remember that no one really gives a shit about what I look like or what my struggles are. Not you, not my distant facebook friends, not Twitter, not anyone else. Maybe my family, but they have their own individual struggles too. I'm definitely not the focus of anyone else's life cinema.

I'm doing my NaNoWriMo novel too this month, which is going pretty well, if I keep on it and don't fall too far behind in the excitement of Thanksgiving week. It's a good kind of stress. Writing this blog entry was definitely a mode of procrastination on that front.

See you next month when everything is sparkly.

Dragging my feet on this but... 6 month update

My heart is heavy. So is my body.

It's been more than 6 months since I've been trying to eat an animal-based diet, and the most obvious thing that has happened is that I've gained 34 lbs. That is unacceptable. Yet here I am.

I even took measurements this time, so I could really compare. In addition to the 34 pounds, I've gained about 14 inches since my lowest point 5 months ago.

May 19, day 31 of meatdom measurements:

Weight 170.0 lbs, 77.1 kg (I am still 5'3", 63 cm tall)

Waist 79 cm, 31.1 in

Hips 110 cm, 43.3 in 

Right thigh 69.5 cm, 27.4 in

Left arm 36.5 cm, 14.4 in 

Neck 34.5 cm, 13.6 in

Day 181. Measurements. Here goes.

Weight 204.2 lbs, 92.6 kg (in case you forgot - I'm 5'3", 63 cm tall)

Waist 89 cm, 35 in

Hips 119 cm, 47.75 in

Right thigh 76 cm, 30 in

Left arm 42.5 cm, 16.75 in

Neck 36 cm, 14.25 in

This sucks. Really fucking sucks. Right on schedule, here I am, sucking it in to get into my size 18 jeans.

It would be fine if I were gaining weight but staying the same and/or losing inches. But you can definitely tell. On the left is a picture of me in May this year, and this is a picture I took today, October 21.

Very sad that I found this awesome fur coat at an estate sale for less than $90, and now I won't even get to wear it because my arms are too fat to fit comfortably inside. My burgeoning double chin is also bumming me out.

Lest I fill this whole post with depression, I will say that I did have a bit of a victory at the endocrinologist's office the other day, when my Hemoglobin A1c tested at 5.8. Lower than the 6.2 it was 3 months ago, which was nice. I think I'm just getting a bit better at guessing what amounts of insulin will make my blood sugar do what, with the amount of meat I think I'm eating.

Lately though, things are being a bit more rollercoaster-y. I've had to correct lows 3 days this week. Oy. The third time I felt ok enough to try correcting with cheese instead of sugar (63 mg/dl), but it was night time and the next morning I woke up with a high (193).

I'm starting to think that the ultimate dream of being able to eat however much I want without gaining weight or worrying about my blood sugar numbers is just not within reach for me.

Recently, my library sugar daddy (aka my husband) got me Dr. Richard Bernstein's book to read. It was both inspiring and depressing. Very inspiring to hear about the complications that can be prevented and reversed just by keeping blood sugars at normal or near-normal levels. I huzzahed to myself when I read his assertion that diabetics are entitled to the same blood sugar levels as non-diabetics. That's right. We shouldn't sell ourselves short.

But it was also super disheartening to see his plan for weight loss, which involved slowly decreasing the meat/protein serving you have at meals and seeing if you lose weight at that level. Then later, he mentions that if you're a lady and have polycystic ovarian syndrome, you're probably going to be heavy even if you eat like 800 cals/day.

Now, no one's ever told me that I have PCOS, but anything's possible, right? I'm chock full of empathy for PCOS gals, due to issues with my shitty body.

A few Mondays ago, I took too much insulin and/or didn't eat enough, and my sugar got low around the end of my work day. I then proceeded to go Full Ham, and ate about 12 of the fun-size candy bars that my coworker keeps in a big plastic jar on her desk. It was not pretty.

My resolve also broke down this past Saturday, with a low blood sugar + KC Royals (Go Royals!) victory nachos + fun-filled s'mores bonfire party at the lake. I'm so, so bad with social situations at times. Actually, sometimes I can be strict, but it's like Russian Roulette. Especially if my blood sugar is low. The sugar affects my brain something hard, and it really must be what it's like to wean off drugs.

Marcos and I went to the Renaissance Faire last weekend, it was pretty fun, though expensive. We plied ourselves with wine and turkey legs. I wonder why I had little trouble keeping ZC there, yet I fall face first into graham crackers and marshmallows at the lake.

Had a few other lows this last month as well, so I'm thinking about either running back to keto, or at least measuring the food I eat. But I so don't want toooooo, wahhh.

Note: I limited alcohol for a few months before, but once I found that this WOE was making me gain weight anyway, I decided, fuck that noise. Wine is good for you. Sometimes it helps me not have high blood sugars in the morning (when taken the night before, to clarify).

I want to believe in the dream. The inspiring stories that abound in the Zeroing In On Health facebook group - I want them to be mine! I want to join in the meat love fest! See, aren't they having a blast?

My resolve is starting to crack, however. How in the world can someone be expected to stay on a regime that is so limiting in a way (very freeing in others), that isolates you, and requires at least some level of willpower every day for the rest of your life? Not to mention, HASN'T BEEN WORKING and is making me puff up like a baby calf? Plus, my acne has come roaring back. I think it might be the cheese I'm eating.

6 more months, people. I can make it. I swear I will. I want to stick it out as the experimental ambassador for all other people with type 1 diabetes who might be considering zero carb. No other type 1's should have to go into this potentially awesome WOE without knowing the potential pitfalls. I'm making my mistakes for you!

5 month update

Hello blog! I don't have much to report, really, but it will be useful for future me (and anyone else who stumbles upon this) to write my dutiful monthly entry anyway.

September 15 (Tues) was the 150th day since I committed to eating only animal products. My weight when I last checked it 5 days ago was 90.1 kg, or 198.6 lbs. I didn't take any measurements, since I know I'm gaining inches. I only have to gauge the tightening fit of the new jeans I bought a month or so ago, that were supposed to be seeing me through this period of gain. Back then, I bought a size 18 just in case I should expand more. And I had to break out those big jeans this week. They were a bit baggy in the legs/butt, but I bet I fill them out soon enough.

I'm writing about this more matter-of-factly because I think I've given up despairing about it. Or, at least I'm on an upswing of mood. Trying to just trust in the process, and trusting that my body is smarter than I think it is. I mean, surely I'm gaining muscle under there and not just fat.

For Labor Day, I took a short vacation with my friend to Eureka Springs, Arkansas. I broke my meat plan with a few kettle-cooked chips, some beer, a calzone, and then some ice cream. It was rough; I could feel the sugar and carbs gaining control of me and my brain, so much so that it scared me how powerless I felt against the urge to eat sugar. The ice cream wasn't eaten on the trip, but after I got home, I was so hard up and craving ice cream that Tim indulgently took me out in the rain to the grocery store. I got 3 half-cup size ice cream containers (the small Blue Bunny single servings). It was a mistake - they all tasted gross and full of chemicals, and the outing wasn't worth it.

The day after that vacation, I weighed myself. I was 199 lbs, which I thought had to surely be due to what I had eaten. Seeing that I've only lost .4 lbs since then about a week later, I'm even more confused about my body is doing. After that setback, I've since been on meat only.

My blood sugars have been in pretty much the same range, with a few lows when I take too much insulin. Same old story. I do think I will try eating a piece of cheese at night before I go to bed to see if it translates into lower morning numbers. Those have been around 130-170 mg/dl. Not the greatest.

Bathroom event summary, since you're dying to know: I was starting to eat leaner meats, and for a while my poops were dreams! Solid, quick. But yesterday things started loosening up again. I'll have to eat leaner. If only the lean cuts weren't so expensive and/or not tasty.

I've been trying to do yoga classes at the gym. My hip is still hurting me, which I think is unrelated, but I thought yoga couldn't hurt. Turns out I was wrong - some of those positions are not friendly! Still, I'll keep trying.

I was extremely proud of myself for not eating pizza when I took my partner out for his birthday. However, it was a strange thing to witness the staff at Pie Five struggle so mightily to fulfill my request for a crustless pizza.

Having been a subscriber to r/keto on Reddit back in the days of my ketogenic dieting, I knew that places like Cici's Pizza could do a crustless pizza - where they basically stick all the toppings in an aluminum pan and melt it together in the oven. Like a casserole or something.

The Pie Five folks did try to do that for me, but it failed with their pans and oven. What they ended up giving me was the uncooked ingredients piled on one of their pizza pans, based on my suggestion.

At least I had a buy-one-get-one coupon, so I didn't really feel that bad eating something I definitely could have prepared for myself at home. But still, in 10 or 20 years I imagine that more people will learn about how good an all meat, or at least low carb high fat, diet is. They'll learn to demand what their diet needs, just like vegetarians and gluten-free folks do today (they did offer me a gluten-free crust). Restaurants are going to have to learn to adapt to what customers ask for.

There is something so absurd about eating like 1.5 cups of shredded mozzarella off a plate in a restaurant. Yet somehow it's perfectly acceptable when it's melted, on top of a pizza. #murica

I took a picture of ironic wall decoration - seems like it should really say, "we only make one kind of pie: full of carbs"

4 Month Update UGGGGHH

As you can probably surmise from the title, month 4 was a slog and a travesty. I'm getting fatter, and I'm getting less okay with it.

I'm also mad at myself, because the temptations I've been experiencing have been given in to too many times. I should re-write that. I GAVE IN TO TEMPTATION TOO MANY TIMES. There. ownership. Feels good in a shitty way.

In late July and early August, a few cool things happened. I got to hang out with some friends from Crossfit I hadn't seen in a while, because some of them threw a beach/boat party (they're older and richer than I am). I had some kind of party cocktail dispensed from a cooler, and a few beers and some vodka. Then later, I ate the cheese off some pizza they ordered. Less than optimal. Why is beer and other alcohol still okay in my mind??

The Texas Trip

Then a few weeks later, I got to fly out to Texas to see mi familia again. I missed them so. Still do, now. Those 3 days flew by. I tried to minimize diet damage by only ordering burger patties + eggs at Whataburger during breakfast time, and picking barbecue joints to eat. My dad and brother even grilled steaks for us <3 <3 <3. Still, for some reason my hand kept reaching to the other side items - a little piece of bread here, some biscuits there, cole slaw, mac & cheese. All just a few bites. But enough to make my morale sink, my blood sugar rise, and make me wonder if I can really hack this WOE.

And of course, I drank some beer at the top of the Reunion Tower.

Texas beer, naturally

The Bear talked about having difficulty managing cravings for the first SIX YEARS (!!!omgggg) into his all-meat diet. That is less than heartening. Especially since my results aren't exactly jazzy enough for me to keep up my motivation and willpower in the face of Crema Catalan (amazing dessert at a Tapas place my parents took us to in McKinney, TX).

The most frustrating thing is that before this big trip home, I was actually very comfortable and in the groove of eating only meat. I could even imagine a Christmas or Thanksgiving where I would shun all cookies, candy, desserts, etc. I felt a change a'comin'! Then boom. Childhood memories overtake, and suddenly I'm wandering my parents' kitchen, looking for crunchy things to snack on. In case you were wondering, the winner was a bowl of tortilla chips, saltines, and graham crackers. <------- SO PATHETIC.

Food is still love when it comes to my family, apparently.

My stomach had been giving me problems before we left for TX, and my not-so-solid stools continued during my carby weekend. That was last weekend, and for some reason I still have diarrhea. My body must have to go through some kind of re-adaptation every fucking time I slip. I'll try my hardest to remember this in the future.

(Oh, and since my 120 day mark on this diet was the day after I got back from my trip, I weighed myself. 193 pounds. That is 8 pounds up from last month, and it is like a fucking knife in my heart. I'm hoping that can mostly be explained by the carbs.)

Sometimes though, just sticking with the diet doesn't even help me. Take yesterday.

The Saturday Saga

My friend Marcos and I went to the KC Ethnic Enrichment festival. A really fun time where different organizations around the city set up booths to sell their country's food and knick-knacks, and there's a main stage with performances. The biggest lines were at the Hawaii booth (for sno-cones) and the Mexico booth. Which tells you all you need to know about Midwest America.

I had a grand time at the festival, sidestepping all of the worst, most delicious-looking things (povitica, Thai coffee, American Indian Fry Bread, bacon rolls). I had some various meat-on-a-stick things from Laos and the Philippines.

I had 2 beers. The horror, I know.

I thought I had been doing great all day. Hadn't taken any insulin, but later after I came home (around 7:30 pm) when I checked my sugar it was 174. Not great, but not bad considering the beers. I corrected with 2 units I believe.

Had some ribeye steak for dinner - 1.16 lbs said the package. This is where I made my fatal error I think. I gave myself 4 units of insulin.

Normally this would be ok for a pound of meat, but I didn't check my blood sugar beforehand, so I probably would have been ok with just 3 units. Well, later, around 11 pm, I started feeling funny. So I got a few bites of summer sausage, 4 hot dogs, and some eggs. I was trying to chase away my low blood sugar, but it wasn't happening. I wasn't even hungry anymore, but I was trying to choke down all this food. It was terrible. I checked myself like 15 minutes after eating all this - 52.

Felt shitty for like an hour, whilst I ate some of Tim's dark chocolate, found some crappy sugar-free candies I munched on (because sometimes the oligosaccharides in them can raise my blood sugar anyway), and took a sip of a real Coke we somehow had in our fridge from Tim's brother's stash.

My life is a comedy of errors - I decide to commit to just meat, only to be thrown a loop with taking too much insulin. I had no cheese in the house, unfortunately. It's hard to treat a low with just meat, even if it's processed. So coke and chocolate it is. (I was really trying to get away from cheese, but maybe I need to keep it stocked.)

I finally went to bed after I tested my blood sugar at 61. Still felt low and crappy. Oh, and I also still had diarrhea. WHAT THE FUCK IS MY LIFE?!

But I still count yesterday as a fun day since I got to hang out with Marcos and see some fun ethnic food and garb. And hey, I had some weird vivid dreams (one upside of carb time).

*End*

Woke up this morning at 196. This really makes me want to throw up my hands and go back to keto. But I've committed a year to this to just find out how much better (or worse, now that I think of it) my body can be on an all-meat diet.

I think my T1 diabetes really hinders my ability to stay on this meat diet. Or, is it my preference to control my blood sugars what is really making me fail?

What if I were to increase my basal unit of 10 Lantus units to 12 (or whatever it takes), then not take any Humalog for bolus?

Am I willing to put up with higher blood sugars over the course of an undetermined period of time, in order to make the diet easier and try to see that they come down little by little on their own? I'm not sure.

This is what some of the T2 diabetics have done in the Zeroing In On Health Facebook group. Of course, most don't take insulin...

I'll have to think about that.

Ok, I think I've rambled on enough. I'll leave you with the only measurements I bothered to take of myself, besides my aforementioned weight. Really really really hope it's just due to the beer and accidental carbs of yesterday.

87 cm waist (formerly 82.5)

121.5 cm hips (formerly 114.5)

This blog is turning out to be more negative than I'd hoped it would be. Pretty bummed.

I'll leave with a positive thought. My nails are freakin' fantastically long and strong! They haven't broken, but they do bend sometimes. I'm thinking about cutting them, as sometimes typing gets annoying with nails this long. But part of me wants to see how long they can get!

Long nails. That polish did smell like grape for a short while.

3 Month Update

Yesterday was day 90 on Zero Carb! Time is really flying. Each day seems to crawl by itself, but suddenly you find yourself in the future.

This month seemed a bit smoother overall. For a while I still seemed to have issues with loose-type bowel movements arising at inopportune moments, and being kind of crampy/painful. It may have had to do with the kind of meat I was eating (ground beef that was too fatty), or possibly the quantity. The issue also seemed tied to my period. I've started eating eggs almost every day, and so that may be playing a helpful role in slowing things down. All I know is that I had 4 eggs/ 4 pc of bacon for breakfast yesterday, ground beef for lunch, a rare steak last night at 10 pm (when I finally got hungry) and I feel great this AM.

Now for the measurements. I'm not that excited. I'm also not that worried about the increases. Funny how abandoning sweets and carbs evens out your demeanor and brightens your outlook!

Weight 184.6 lbs, 83.7 kg (in case you forgot - I'm 5'3", 63 cm tall)

Waist 82.5 cm, 32.5 in

Hips 114.5 cm, 45.1 in

Right thigh 75 cm, 29.5 in

Left arm 39 cm, 15.4 in

Neck 34 cm, 13.4 in

Around 6 pounds gained, and also a few inches. I could definitely tell. My jeans weren't fitting as nicely anymore, so I went to Savers (thrift/secondhand store) to get some more clothes. I'm fat, but I'm oddly ok with it. I still fit in a lot of my stretchier clothes, and those are the best ones anyway. Whoever decided leggings were okay to wear outside was a genius.

During this third month of just eating meat, I had a challenge and I did not rise to the occasion. Tim and I went to the Kansas City Zoo to celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary. It was a hot day, and I had packed some steak with me to eat. However, my mistake was not packing it well enough so that I'd feel like carrying it around with me until lunch time, and so I left it in our car.

Now, we could have gone to our car and come back to the zoo, but this zoo is freakin' huge and I was so tired. I also started getting low at one point, having given myself too much insulin for a bunless cheeseburger I ate there.

Usually when I'm low I just try eating meat and waiting, but in this case the only meat I had made available to myself was a hot dog. So I ate that. Then I ate one of Tim's french fries, and a little less than half of the hot dog bun.

I could have spent another $6 (!!) on another hot dog frank, but I just got kind of fed up with the situation. Luckily, that little indiscretion was probably only 20 grams of carbs.

But the zoo was overall really fun, and some of the animals were really active and well worth seeing. We got to see a tiger play with a big plastic ball, and we saw chimp snack time. So adorable! I could have watched the chimpanzees all day.

After we got back from the zoo later that evening, after we rested and showered, we went to an underwhelming steakhouse. I ate some breaded buffalo wings, for no real reason other than we had a coupon for them. I tried to just eat the meatiest parts, but that was probably another 10 or so grams of carbs. Our food took a long time to come out (maybe that's what happens at steakhouses? I haven't been to very many), and I definitely should have gotten the ribeye or prime rib instead of the tiny 8 oz filet mignon. Oh well, live and learn. I also bit into the toothpick used to attach the bacon to the steak. Facepalm. But it was a lovely night with my man, because we were together. *barf i know*

Tim and I split a bottle of wine every night that anniversary weekend. This may have stalled any weight loss effort as well, but honestly, I didn't notice. I felt fatter and squishier this month anyway, without the help of much carbs or alcohol.

The folks at www.zerocarbhealth.com and its corresponding Facebook group really recommend sticking with this way of eating for 6 months to truly see the impact on the body. I'm very optimistic that my body is changing for the better, despite the extra chub. My face gets occasional blemishes, but this may still be part of the healing process.

A cool thing I've been noticing is that I have to take slightly less humalog. This all-meat diet is probably good for my metabolism and diabetes, though it works considerably slower than just a regular VLCHF/keto diet. I'm still at 10 units of Lantus.

I've also found that sometimes in the evening I appear to be more sensitive to the insulin, and so a few times this week I've over-corrected and ended up a bit low. When I dip into the 50s, I don't feel as ravenously hungry as in my carby past, but I've also never previously had the hypoglycemic symptom of where your tongue/lips go numb. That's happened to me twice now in the past month. It's kind of scary, but I just eat some cheese, summer sausage, and/or pork rinds to feel better.

After these low blood sugar episodes at night, I don't take any extra insulin for the food I eat to correct. In the mornings, I notice I'm usually higher, in the 150s. This contrasts with my regular morning numbers of 90 to 115. I'll just have to work on not taking as much insulin at dinner time.

Things are happening, things are exciting. I'm totally ready for month #4!

Measurements - Month 2

Day 61. Measurements. Here goes.


Weight 178.2 lbs, 80.8 kg (in case you forgot - I'm 5'3", 63 cm tall)

Waist 81.5 cm, 32.1 in

Hips 109.5 cm, 43.1 in

Right thigh 74.5 cm, 29.3 in

Left arm 38 cm, 14.9 in

Neck 34.5 cm, 13.5 in


I'm basically the same size I was as when I started this diet 2 months ago. Right after my indulgent week of carbs that left my body bloated. My thighs are way bigger than I anticipated.

I'm not pleased.

There's not much else I care to say. My spirit is slightly crushed. However, time will trudge on no matter what I'm eating. And to be honest, I want to complete the experiment now that I'm 61 days into it.

So I shall.

Day 60 update

Hello blog, good to see you. Just thought I'd pop in. Today is Thursday, June 18. Otherwise known as Day 61 in this WOE.

Over the past month (month 2 of this all-meat eating experiment), several notable things have happened.

On May 23rd, I took part in the Crossfit "Murph" challenge. This was a poor decision health-wise, probably, since I hadn't been an active participant at Crossfit for about 4 weeks at the time. If you don't know, this Murph workout is

1 mile run
100 pullups (I substituted ring rows)
200 pushups (I did them on my knees)
300 air squats
1 mile run

This whole stupid affair took me 1 hour and 12 minutes to complete. I pretty much just walked the last mile. After I was done, I tested my blood sugar and I was 237 mg/dl. YIKES. Just like old times, when I used to eat paleo carbs and then work out.

I was also sore for 5 days in my legs/core area, and for 8 days in my arms. I seriously thought I had a mild case of rhabdomyolysis. But my pee wasn't dark and I didn't get puffy, so probably not. One of the folks at my gym at least DID suffer that fate, however. Crossfit is dangerous, kids.

After that challenge, I could feel my body get a bit puffier/fatter. It was probably inflammation contributing to a bit of weight gain.

Also this month, my poops have been inconsistent, still, and some acne has reappeared. I thought for sure my stomach things would settle out this month, but I feel like things are still quite unpredictable. I hope I'm not giving myself some kind of gastrointestinal disorder. This may have something to do with the fact that I've added eggs in from time to time, and cheese maybe 2x a week (not that often, but it's not off limits either). I'll monitor these things. They're very annoying and hard to miss.

I went to the endocrinologist for a checkup, and my A1c increased from 5.2 to 6.2. This one was a bit of a blow. I pretty much looked a gift horse in the mouth when I turned away from keto to carnivory, it seems. Here are my past month's numbers as taken from my meter at the doctor's office:

I'll be waiting with bated breath to see how I do next month. I have increased my nighttime Lantus dosage to 10 units, originally 7 units in mid-April. I'll probably have to increase further.

And I can definitely tell I'm getting fatter. In fact, I know I am. I bought some pairs of pants from Savers this weekend, because the pants I have are getting too tight. :'( Measurements I took this morning confirm this. I'll have a separate post up later with my measurements. It's not pretty.

I need to work on being happier and more content with myself. But it's hard when I'm not seeing the results I want. Oh well. Onward to Month 3!

Day 31 measurements

First, here are my original measurements. This was after a whole week of carb loading, so I take them with a grain of salt.

Weight 180.4 lbs, 81.8 kg (I am 5'3", 63 cm tall)

Waist 82.5 cm, 32.5 in

Hips 110 cm, 43.3 in

Right thigh 69.5 cm, 27.4 in

Left arm 36.5 cm, 14.4 in

Neck 34.5 cm, 13.6 in


Now, here are my measurements today, May 19, day 31 of meatdom:

Weight 170.0 lbs, 77.1 kg (I am still 5'3", 63 cm tall)

Waist 79 cm, 31.1 in

Hips 110 cm, 43.3 in (same!)

Right thigh 69.5 cm, 27.4 in (same!)

Left arm 36.5 cm, 14.4 in (same!)

Neck 34.5 cm, 13.6 in (same!)


Ok, so the values above that are labeled "same" are only 1-2 centimeters off (in the wrong direction, wtf?). Given that I'm measuring myself, and my arms/legs are so flabby, they're essentially unchanged.

This is all very interesting. Maybe my scale is acting up today, maybe I really have lost some weight but not that many inches. I can't wait to see what next month brings!

I also took some pictures, but I don't think they're very impressive or different looking yet so I think I'll wait until at least the 6 month mark to share.

Today is day 30!

Halleluia, I have made it! Day 30 of drinking nothing but water and eating nothing but meat and animal products!

The past few days were pretty uneventful as far as symptoms/improvements go. I still appear to waver back and forth between solid and loose stool depending on how much fat I eat or if my period happens. I also thought I was getting another pimple on my chin, but the very next day I woke up and that same spot was significantly shrunken/dried up. I can't even find where I thought I had that pimple now!

I'm confident that my body and mind can only improve from here, which is why I'm continuing upon this meat path for at least another year, if not many more. This is what I intended from the beginning. I wasn't so naive as to believe I'd lose all my weight in this 30-day experiment. In fact, I don't think I've lost anything besides the water/bloating I originally made myself gain from my pre-meat carb gorgefest. But I'm going to really give it some serious effort.

Real talk: This is the latest thing I'm trying in an effort to reach my goal of 140 lbs. I really hope it is the last.

The insulin/blood sugar situation appears to have been sorted out for now. I'm injecting more Humalog and slightly more Lantus. My numbers have been in the 100-130 mg/dl range more often, with some 80s peppered in. For now, I am happy.

Slight mishap on Saturday with some insulin overdosing when I ate an entire rack of lamb for dinner (it was just so good - and Tim didn't want any because he only likes meat when it's well-done brown, not pink). I thought it had more protein than it did, which is why a few hours after I'd eaten, I checked my blood sugar and it was 51.

I was panicking, not wanting to derail my meat/no sweets progress, but also wanting desperately to shove some candy or other food in my mouth so that bad hypoglycemic feeling would pass.

I chose to eat some cream cheese. And by that, I mean an entire block.

#diabetesproblems, am I right people??

Despite this block of cheese only having less than 8 grams of carbs, and only about 16 grams of protein, a few hours later I checked and my blood sugar had risen to 138. Does this seem crazy to you? It did to me. I guess when it comes to insulin dosing and eating, your body can always surprise you.

I really try not to eat cheese a lot or make it the main focus of any meal or snack. But it's nice to know that cheese is sort of my new candy, and can fulfill the purpose of making my blood sugar rise when I need it.

My plan for my blog now is to update monthly at least, with measurement and progress updates. I don't want to weigh in more often than that for fear of making myself absolutely crazy. I'm already a 29-year-old woman, who is ethnic and raised in America, and also fat ever since I can remember. So, the less time I spend on the scale the better.

Meat is love.

In the home stretch

Today is day 24, and I'm feeling good! I think ground beef and ribeye does a body nice. Last week's pot roast experiment did not end up so well. Think cramping and camping out on the porcelain. I wonder if it was too much protein?

Anyway, my itchiness appears to be subsiding, and I haven't noticed many if any new blemishes on my face. I'm lovin' it. I've been on an early period this week too, so I'm interested to know how The Crimson Wave will be for me next month when I've been on this way of eating for longer.

The face this egg is making reflects how I felt when I woke up Monday morning (yesterday) and my blood sugar was 207 fasting.

Mother. effing. 207.

I had to make sure I wasn't using expired insulin. Whaddya know, I WAS. Exp date was 10/2014. I always tried to stretch out the usage of my insulin pens beyond what was probably acceptable (30 days). But yikes. My bad.

Replaced my Humalog with a fresh pen. I'm trying not to be afraid of dosing myself as I need it. I'm going to get my numbers down or go low trying.

This 207 was also probably the result of my less than optimal meals at restaurants this weekend while the in-laws were in town. I think I managed very well though, and I know enough to not go to a Mexican restaurant if I can help it. Or at least, not Taqueria Mexico. 

I got a plain carne asada steak, and some huevos con jamon. I tasted it and I could tell the ham was adulterated with something sweet. It tasted like something I might get in a Chinese (well, American Chinese) restaurant. 

Proud to say I did avoid any tortilla chips, breads, and supplementary potatoes in all incarnations. Maybe I can say I'm #winning even if my diabetes hasn't gotten with the program entirely. 

Day 20 - some weirdness

Today is day 20, and I think things are getting easier just the longer I go on with this meat and water plan. I had a chuck roast in the crock pot going over night (no water, just some salt, pepper, garlic powder, and onion powder!), so I ate half of it for breakfast around 8:45 am today. I added some butter and bacon grease to it so as to increase my fat ratios, and this held me over until 5:15 pm! I just ate the other half of it, with some more butter :)

Granted, I think that the long period between my meals today has to do with this new symptom that's cropped up in the past couple days - I've been having heartburn, which has NOT been a common ailment in my life. And the meat burps ensue, which definitely keeps my appetite down. I think that's probably bad. 

The other weird thing that I'm noticing is that my face is itchy. Other parts of my body (arms) are a bit itchy also, but it's very bizarre that around my mouth, chin, and cheeks I seem to be scratching, even just a little. 

Don't get me wrong - I love touching my face. I'm a face toucher if there ever was one. I like to just check on all my bumps and blemishes, and I scan my chin for new tiny black hairs that need plucking, usually absent-mindedly while I read work emails. But now I've become a face itcher, and it's quite weird. I don't even have more redness or bumps than usual. Maybe that means it's all in my head. 

Whatever. I won't worry until it starts interfering with my life or my looks. Hopefully this is all just part of the adaptation process. I imagine things will level out in time.

Oh, and I changed the name of my blog. The original title URL was yukshik.blogspot.com, which is the Korean word for carnivore. I think I realized it was a bit clunky and esoteric.

I also originally thought about making the URL diameates.blogspot.com, but the first time my husband looked over my shoulder and read it, he pronounced it "die-uh-meets." That's not what I had in mind. Luckily, my brain was able to crap out diameatus.blogspot.com. Wins in my book for still being punny, and it's just so much more fun because it makes me think of Wilford Brimley. You know what I mean.

The early 2000s kids had this remix stuck in their heads for a little while. Or was it just me?

OH MY GOD

My blood sugar was a bit high this morning, I realize. 157 when I woke up. I didn't correct. But come the fuck on, 193 as I just tested??! 3 hours postprandial??!!!

Calm. 

Calm. 

Think soothing thoughts.

I took 2 units of Humalog. This routine is getting so old.

Now that I look at what I ate (5 oz sandwich ribeye, 3 slices of bacon, only about 500 cal total), the protein amount may have been out of whack with my fat amount. I think I'm going to need to stick to fatty ground beef more often in the morning. 

This fucking chronic condition, in addition to being associated with elevated risk for heart disease, kidney failure, neuropathy, amputations etc. also makes one prone to swearing.

Day 19 and I'm kinda pissed

Just when I had gotten all cocky and settled with my awesome blood sugar numbers while on keto, I decide to try this thing and now my dead pancreas is even more angry for some reason.

Here are my past week's numbers (all BS values are mg/dl):

Wed April 29 (last Crossfit day)

Fasting 8:26 am - 132

10:31 am - 200 (spike due to intense exercise, I believe I corrected)

2:21 pm - 95

5:50 pm - 86

10:59 pm - 104

Thurs April 30

Fasting 8:47 am - 121

4:21 pm - 90

10:02 pm - 115

Fri May 1 

Fasting 8:36 am - 97

3:41 pm - 130

10:03 pm - 132

11:41 pm - 155

Sat May 2

Fasting 10:11 am - 137

3:14 pm - 108

10:09 pm - 146

Sun May 3

Fasting 10:30 am - 139

1:45 pm  - 148

4:58 pm - 138

8:26 pm - 133

10:55 pm - 129

Mon May 4

Fasting 8:30 am - 111

11:48 am - 157

4:42 pm - 131

11:26 pm - 132

Tues May 5 

Fasting 9:03 am - 143

1:02 pm - 142

10:33 pm  - 184 (!!??)
It is at this point I freaked out and took 2 corrective Humalog units (one shot), and raised my Lantus from 7 units to 8 units at bedtime (one shot, though I'm considering splitting into two. I remember Dr. Bernstein saying that if a shot is larger than 6 or so units, it doesn't get absorbed the right way.).

Wed May 6

Fasting 8:05 am - 108

11:55 am - 180 (!!?? this was only a few hours after eating a 5 oz sandwich ribeye steak. Fatty and good. Makes no sense)

2:17 pm - 135

4:32 pm - 101

9:28 pm - 121

11:39 pm - 110

Thurs May 7

Fasting 8:42 am - 157

This is the last number I have, and so frustrating. Granted, I will say that last night at 10 pm I decided to eat probably 12 oz of ground beef. My hunger signals that day were strange. I ate until very stuffed, Thanksgiving stuffed, at that nighttime meal.

My numbers are definitely better than many other type 1 diabetics can say, and I'm lucky. I also realize I live a blessed existence, having access to all the medical supplies and medicines I need. After 17 years (my Diabetiversary is some time this month) I think I should just trust that I have the skills to slowly correct my dosing.

My fear is going low and ruining my meat experiment. I'm also hoping to keep my A1c number in check for the next time I see my doctor, in June I believe. Ironic that too much stress about keeping my numbers good can in itself contribute to high blood sugar. SMH, man.

I'm the idiot

...who let her grip get too slack on her greasy microwave container, and ended up dropping two hamburger patties and their grease on the break room floor today at work. But I still ate those patties, because I have no shame and they were delicious.

Luckily, the spill was localized to the corner just near the microwave, under the counter. I mopped it up as best I could, and just hoped no one would decide to dance over there and break their hip.

Day 16 almost in the books. Oh, and I had a real, honest to goodness poop today! It had been a few days, and I have been EATING. Probably 2500, 3000 cals most days. Amazing.

For little 5'3" me, the eating to satiety part it's been really awesome. I've restricted myself to less than 1800 too many days of my life. I'm loving this meatness. It's getting easier to resist the sweet "foods" around me. Today we had donuts at work for the billionth time this year. I didn't even lift the flap up off the box to see what kinds there were.

I seem to be sleeping really well. Not that easy for me to get up in the morning yet, but I'm sure it'll improve with time.

One other bodily improvement I noticed is that my tongue is no longer coated. I've had a white coated tongue for as long as I can remember! This is weird and great! I'm on my way to being normal!!

Blood sugars have been high still, in the 130s to 150s. Remarkably steady, but still high. I hate that I have to pump myself with insulin. If I weren't the level-headed human I am, I'd skip my Lantus dose for a few days (weeks?) to trim down. They call that "diabulemia," kids, and it's a big no-no. You could literally die. I could give myself diabetic-ketoacidosis.

Insulin makes you fat, but it also makes you live. I kinda like living, so I'll stick with the plan ;)

Day 14 happenings

Tim is going to take me out for barbecue tonight, since I helped him edit his school paper. I always help him edit his papers, but still. If he wants to take me for a night on the town, I'm not one to argue!

Today is May 2, day 14. So far I've eaten probably about a pound of ground beef, 73/27. Nice and fatty. I stocked up on that stuff at Aldi, so I'm pretty much set for a week or two, maybe three.

A few things to note. Yesterday I went a whole day, finally, with no bowel movement. Up to now they hadn't been very inspiring or normal in nature. Maybe my body is finally being nourished by all the meat I'm giving it, and has nothing left for the toilet. I think I'm heading in the right direction.

I may be drinking too much water, and possibly confusing hunger signals and thirst signals. After all, isn't it such a common diet trope? "Stop confusing your thirst for hunger! If you're hungry, try drinking a big glass of water before you eat." How weird and lovely to live on this meat-eating path, where such fooling of the body is not necessary, and in fact detrimental to progress!

Finally, I think I'm going to have to halt the Crossfit workouts for the foreseeable future. I've been in denial about this, but I'm probably just confusing my metabolism, and not letting my overweight body heal properly. I'm sad about this.

The social aspect of it will be missed, as will the stress-relieving parts, and the parts where I beat someone occasionally with my double-unders skillz and it feels goooood. But we did the hero WOD "Manion" on Wednesday. I am STILL sore on day 4 of the aftermath. I didn't even do it the Rx way. But 145 squats at 105 lbs and 1.25 miles of running is probably just the workout to make and keep me fat. My body thinks I'm in some kind of hunting situation and is unleashing the cortisol meant to build my belly fat to protect my vital organs.

Off to chow down on some brisket!

Second week ramblings

I completed day 10 today, and things are going pretty smoothly. I still have no clue about buying and cooking meat, so there's that. I just way undercooked a $27 ribeye, but whatevs. I still ate it. Raw/blue steak, I ain't afraid. I should probably buy a good meat thermometer. This is what it looked like pre-cooking, didn't take an after because I was all up in it, my hands were too greasy to work the camera phone:

Still experiencing that slightly phlegmy feeling in my throat after eating a meal. I wonder what that is?? It's not terrible, I can tolerate it. Just interesting.

My body seems stuck in its weight/measurements. I'm probably on the thinner side of where I've usually been most likely (I'm guessing) the mid 160s range. Of course, that really means nothing from what I hear. Some folks seem to lose inches yet gain weight. After 29 years it's hard to walk outside of the normal dieting box, where we used to talk in pounds lost, calories eaten, etc. This is a new frontier.

Today's Crossfit workout was a doozy. It took me 19:44 to complete what amounted to a total of 1400 m of rowing, and 60 split-jerks, 75 lbs. Not the Rx level, but I was dying just the same. My endurance sucks anyway, but I don't think my eating is doing anything for it at this point. Maybe it will?

Is this high intensity exercise the great thing I once thought it was? I tend to balk when the time it takes to finish a workout bleeds over into the 20+ minutes category. Maybe my exercise tastes will change the deeper I get into this carnivore, yukshik lifestyle, just like I'm forcing my food tastes to eventually change. But it's also a social thing for me too, who am I kidding - I like those people. And I don't go every day, but maybe 3-4 per week is still too much for optimal health/recovery, but I'm not sure.

Blood sugars have been a bit lower today than they have been so far on this WOE, though still high after a high intensity workout. 195 today, taken fasting and about 45 minutes after my workout (wasn't hungry this morning). A lower-protein, more dairy/nut/veg heavy keto diet didn't used to do that to me as often - I could work out and then test my sugar, and I'd be at the most in the 140s. Hopefully that will even out, though I may have to change my insulin regimen.

I currently take 7 units of Lantus at bedtime, and Humalog on an as-needed basis. It's hard to know what my sliding scale is now that I'm not a regular ol' ADA sugar burner. I still generally follow the 1 unit per 15 gm carb rule, and I may extend that to 1 unit per 30 gm protein if I test before eating and I'm high. I really just go with my instinct by now, as I've been on the same medication regiment for probably 10 yrs at this point. I'm not the most scientific diabetic, and I wouldn't consider myself lazy... it's just that eating low carb usually makes things so much simpler.

The last time I had my Hemoglobin A1c checked in... March? I wanna say? It was 5.2, I do remember that. Fucking stellar for a type 1 diabetic, as it puts me in the non-damaged pancreas people crowd! Keto was great for my numbers.

Then again, if eating an all meat diet is for iconoclasts and folks that don't tend to trust the medical establishment, maybe even if my A1c creeps higher, it's better for my health and longevity overall? But how can I know?

Who cares really. I just want that ever-elusive HSIS weight to happen for me. You know - Hot Shit in a Swimsuit. Instagram model territory baby yasss.

End of My First Week (Day 7)

Yesterday was Saturday, April 25, and it marked my full week on this no carb lifestyle. And score - woke up with enough energy to go to Crossfit!

With a partner - 200 meter burpee broad jumps (we did it around the track at the gym)

Partner 1 starts on the burpee broad jumps
Partner 2 runs 200
When partner 2 catches partner 1 switch spots. Continue this cycle until a full 200 is completed with the burpee broad jumps.

then

100 Squats
100 Push Ups
100 Jump Lunges
One partner works at a time switch as needed on the reps.

My partner did more jump lunges than I did, my legs weren't as fast as hers. Of course, I bet I have about 50 lbs on her too. I kept up well enough I'd say. I wasn't hankering to do 1 mile run as a finisher like some of the crazy dudes in the class did.

So after that workout and me taking my time in the hot tub afterwards, I just took my time going back home. Stayed in the foyer/living room/cafe area of the gym and read my book a bit. On the way home I was mesmerized by Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, so I stayed in my car for like 15 min even after I parked at home. By that time I got inside I was hungry since I didn't have any breakfast. I had another ahi tuna steak that needed eating, so I cut it up as best I could after googling a yellowfin tuna sashimi demo video. The guy had a real knife and all my knives suck, so I just went with it, eating as I cut.

And then I added a shit-ton of butter to compensate for all the fat that this tuna did NOT have. Made my tummy a bit scared, but all was fine. No really progress on the poop, things have reverted to slight looseness. When do I get the poop magic???

Later that day, the hubs and I went back to the new Whole Foods nearby to check it out and walk around/stretch our legs, since we'd basically been lumps all day. I mean, I did make it to my Crossfit workout, but after that I basically just read my book and lounged around the house, mostly on the couch. By about 5 pm we were feeling cooped up. 

More crowded than before, since people were getting their dinners there. Yeesh, that deli section was full. But I did break my (tenuous) all-meat rule and sample a few morsels of cheese. My GOD. My sweet tooth is hopefully on its way to dying. I had some kind of 3yr aged gouda, and it was like caramel on my tongue. I was blown away. Lookin' forward to all the enhanced senses of taste and smell that some people have reported on this WOE.

We went to Five Guys for dinner, and I just got a bacon burger (2 patties). It was not nearly enough. For all the love Five Guys gets, their burger patties plain just aren't anything to write home about. I had a second dinner of ground beef probably an hour later :) 

Trying not to worry too much about total calories, just trying to optimize my fat because my blood sugars are running higher on this diet than they were on keto. May have something to do with the fiber, or the lack of nuts/cheese. Those were pretty much staples for me for the past 14 months.

Here's to being zen and relaxing, letting my body heal before I worry (too much) about hotness:

This was Day 6

Trying to get my posts done within the correct day. I'm not a very diligent blogger by nature,* so maybe after tomorrow, since the first week will be out of the way, I'll switch to a more weekly or biweekly report schedule.

I ate more today, but that was probably to be expected considering I dragged my ass to Crossfit today. It wasn't a terrible workout, kinda fun actually. Really took it out of me though, even though I scaled down from burpee pullups. This is what I did:

For time:

20 burpees + 20 ring rows
30 ground to overhead (Rx was 95 for girls, I did 75 lbs)
20 ring rows + 20 burpees

Did it in 14:38. That was in addition to a horrible warm up with jump squats/lunges, and a few snatch exercises. But it was fun. I've grown quite fond of that sweaty burn in the last 2+ years I've been a Crossfitter.

I keep track on Myfitnesspal of my calories and macros, just to see. I also try to emphasize fat for steady blood sugar control so it helps me there. Yesterday I ate roughly 1700 cals, today was 2300. But at this point, I'm so over calories. The idea that we humans know exactly how our bodies will burn foods every single time is now quite laughable to me. If you want to learn and laugh too, check out this series on Dr. Jason Fung's site, https://intensivedietarymanagement.com/how-do-we-gain-weight-calories-part-1/. It's so long, but so great.

(grossness warning) Another development today is that my poop changed. Instead of being so loose and liquidy, what I managed to squeeze out today resembled little dark brown squiggles. To me, they resembled green beans, but smaller? In my whole adult life I cannot remember it ever looking like that. Weird and cool! I'm so pumped for my next bowel movement.

As I recall, The Bear had said that stools are smaller in general on an all meat diet, because the unnecessary roughage/unavailable nutrients of all plant products are what really make up the majority of people's feces. No plants, less poop (I'm going to make this phrase into a t-shirt).

Planning to go to bed at a reasonable hour. I truly intend to make it to tomorrow's 9 am Crossfit WOD, but if I'm too sleepy I'll just reevaluate.

Final thought: the frozen ground beef patties from Costco (big blue bag, 78/22 beef) are pretty much awesome. So fast, so fatty, so easy.

*Seriously, I've had a lot of blogs that I just kinda gave up on. I run out of steam after a month or so. This issue goes all the way back to livejournal, man. I'm also torn about people knowing my business, because I also like attention and praise. I'm a super human being. #complicated - ok hashtags are dumb, especially in a blog, sorrry. #notsorry

Day 5

Day 5 went better than the other days. No real obvious symptoms. I did have to battle my craving though. They provided box lunch from Jason's Deli today at work. I hate turning down free food, but it's gotten easier the longer I'm not eating every other fat person's Standard American Diet. 

My strategy was to take the roast beef sandwich and just eat the meat. threw away the bread, tomato, lettuce. I ignored my chips and cookie by telling myself, it's not food. I do feel more zen about food lately, and it was only a little hard to be next to my husband as he ate the cookie and chips I'd saved for him and brought home.

I had been noticing a little more brittleness/thinness to my nails. I've NEVER had this problem. I can't be sure yet whether it's the coconut oil I lather on my hands every time I get back from the restroom, or the meat. Or the loose bowels? No clue.

Bedtime occurred at around my usual time, 11:30. Had to load up on the lard, and I introduced Kerrygold salted butter again. That tasted too good, I probably should be careful about that.

Had to add the fat because I made a mistake of buying meat that is too freaking lean! Makes me mad. I have a lot to learn about meat. Thanks, America, for telling us to cut down on red meat so long. Appreciate the big gap in knowledge about purchasing and cooking meat! *end sarcasm*

I finally got some glucose monitor test strips after a lot of mismanagement of my order from my shitty-ass pharmacy. So, I've really been blind in how this Way of Eating has made my blood sugars. But I'm pretty sure they're higher, and I was right - I tested about 1.5 hours after my evening meal and it was 130. Not terrible, but not ideal. REMINDER: I'm type 1 diabetic, hoping to overachieve relative to the other T1's who don't know The Way.

How Day 4 went

Well, I thought things were on the up and up. But in the middle of the night, (AND LET ME WARN YOU, POOP TALK AHEAD), I got up to pee like I usually do since I drink so much water.

I just got some slight cramping, and then I knew it was coming. Those on a high-fat diet may remember the transition period. I had a bit of looseness, due to all that good tallow I got in a huge dose when I ate that pound of beef for lunch dinner the previous day.

Anyway, no big deal. It just woke me up a bit more than a late night pee would have. I had gone to bed early again - around 10:45. I've been sleeping really well the past couple nights. The only downside is that I no longer have the crazy dreams associated with excessive carbohydrate consumption. Believe me, I fucking noticed that. I don't remember what happens really totally within those kinds of dreams, just more vignettes. For instance, I had imagined Pope Francis eating a slice of Sbarro pizza as his advisers pity him. "No, Il Papa, no."

In the early evening I did experience some more diarrhea, but nothing major. It'll take more than that to derail me. I've also had on/off episodes of my throat feeling more phlegmy than usual.

Today (ok, Yesterday since I'm late with this post), Earth Day, also happened to be the opening day of the new Whole Foods nearby. It's within 5 minutes walking distance, which is pretty cool out here in the suburbs of Kansas City.

Tim and I drove over to take a look-see (hey, it was chilly). Man. Viewing it all through a meat-eater's lens is so weird and sad. I used to be someone who would pay $8.00 for a chocolate bar just because it was fair-trade, organic. I used to be the girl who would think nothing of getting a $2.50 bag of fresh made donuts (yes, they have those) to snack on while shopping. I used to be obsessed with discovering new plant-based processed products to try.

The one thing that did give me pause and a bit of wistfulness was seeing that they have a bulk nut butter machine that makes PISTACHIO BUTTER. Oh man. $19.99 a lb, no big deal right??! I asked Tim to get me some pistachio butter for christmas :) I know I shouldn't be planning cheats already and that zero-carb is a lifestyle, a path. I'm an imperfect creature.

Asleep by about 11:20 pm, but woke up a bit nauseated in the night. I think it had to do with the two tb of tallow I supplemented my lean chuck steak with. I need to start getting fattier meat cuts!

Day 3

Day 3 was yesterday. It was so much better than Day 2! I think I must have been just detoxing, coming down hard from the 6000+ calories carb-stravaganza I had on the day before I started. Still a bit of a headache at times, but manageable.

Had a 7.5 oz ahi tuna steak for breakfast around 9:30 am, pan fried on both sides, longer than I had intended. It was still pinkish inside, but I wanted that baby to be raw. Next time. I did add 3 tbsp of lard and tallow, just to balance out the massive amount of protein in that steak. Fish is delicious, but kinda shitty to always be eating on a diet that's meant to be 80% calories from fat.

Then I had a pound of ground beef around 4:30 pm at work. I really wasn't hungry until then. May not have been a great idea to eat it hot and dripping with fat, because some of that liquid fat went down the wrong tube. I was just too enthusiastic I guess! Ugh, I had coughs/throat issues for like a good hour after that. Yikes.

I didn't eat anything else that day, but of course I drank my water. Including seltzer/sparkling water, I probably drink around 17 8-oz. glasses of water a day. This is an estimate, because I just drink out of this big cup at work:

On to day 4! I'm doing this!

Day 2 report

A bit late, but here's what I remember from Day 2. I had THE WORST migraine headache. All day. had to stop periodically, take a deep breath, close my eyes. Work was just a slog to get through, but I felt like being a carnivore martyr and didn't take any pain pills. Why? It's not MEAT or WATER.

I remember my sleep not being very good, so I went to bed a little after 10 pm, which is early for me. I needed it.

Starting measurements

Yikes.


Weight 180.4 lbs, 81.8 kg (I am 5'3", 63 cm tall)

Waist 82.5 cm, 32.5 in

Hips 110 cm, 43.3 in

Right thigh 69.5 cm, 27.4 in

Left arm 36.5 cm, 14.4 in

Neck 34.5 cm, 13.6 in


I just didn't feel like measuring both arms and both legs :)

I don't use the metric system in my day to day, since I'm an American. But somehow, taking the measurements in cm lessened the blow to my ego/feelings about how large I can make myself balloon after just a few days of unrestricted carbohydrate pleasure. Then again, all that humalog insulin I took to cover it can't be good for weight control, lol.

Day 1!

I've been trying to get through more and more of the all-meat, zero carb diet literature and forum postings. Such as this:

http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=287013&page=8&pp=30&goto=journalformat

The Bear claimed to have lived on a diet of all animal products for 47 years at the time of his postings. What a badass dude!

The morning after yesterday's carb bingeing, I woke up with congested sinuses. I also woke up at 11 am, which is a bit later than usual for a Sunday, but I finally managed to get some restful sleep despite having gone to bed so late. Fried up my last Costco bone-in steak, no seasonings but a little salt. I felt generally low energy the whole day, plus a headache. Just coming down off my carb high I guess. "Carb flu," they say. Good thing I literally had nothing planned to do except eat meat.

Later I had some ground beef and sirloin steak. I added some lard (I got some leaf lard from www.fatworks.com a while back). Tried not to use much salt to season. It will be interesting to see how much meat I can actually eat. I'll have to start cooking larger portions for myself - so different from my usual mindset of limiting my calories.

I'm proud of myself for only drinking water and mineral water today. I usually do 3 cups of coffee a day, so this will be quite an interesting experiment.

Feeling a bit tired, so I plan to go to bed by 11 pm at the latest. Can't wait to rise early and greet the day tomorrow! I need to cook up some meat to take to work with me.

Today is the day, technically. Oops

I am still awake at 1:03 am so it still feels like Sat, April 18 to me. Sorry for any confusion.

Neglected to mention that I also appear to be getting dumber as a result of my brief carb-caytion. Really hope this beef and water thing will help me fire up my brain cells properly again.

Death by refined carbohydrates

Today was my last day of eating crap, and boy did I ever. How would you eat if tomorrow all of the packaged, processed crap was gone? Yeah yeah- vegetables are gone too. Who cares? Fruit is also gone. Who cares?

I've been trying to keep to a low carb, high fat, ketogenic diet for about 14 months. The original, main goal has been (always will be?) weight loss. It's helped me maintain a lower set point in weight than I had previously maintained with a paleo kind of diet. A great side effect of this keto diet has been that my blood sugars have stabilized, I don't have to use so much insulin, and my hemoglobin A1c is finally in the normal non diabetic range. I've tested anywhere from 5.4 down to 5.0, which is fabulous.

 But I realized, I'm still addicted to sugar and carbs. I've always indulged in semi monthly opportunities to eat a high amount of carbs at holiday parties, going out with friends, or "just because." It's not good for my body, or anyone's really, to be flowing back and forth from being a fat burner and a sugar burner.

I've been reading about other folks and their zero carb/all meat experiences. Apparently this diet can heal a lot of things. I craved a piece of that action. Yet I was also scared to give up on the things I've had in my diet since I was a child.

After a week of semi-intentional binge eating and body sabotage, I've chosen tomorrow, April 19 2015, as my Carnivore Birthday. And really, it couldn't come soon enough. I've had donuts every day for the past 4 days. Same goes for candy. I included pizza, French fries, a Philly cheesesteak, two pints of ice cream, and even more into today's jam-packed gastroexplosive activities.

These are the symptoms I've managed to give myself in the past week:

Bloating
Weight gain of at least 10 lbs
New stomach stretch marks
Visibly flabbier arms
Sore, cracked lips from all the sugar
Extra dandruff
New beginnings of blemishes
More labored breathing
I experienced fleeting chest pain during my workout today
Parts of my body are quite sensitive and hurt to the touch
Way more farts!
Less desire for sex
Weird, vivid dreams
Restless sleep
A general crappy, hopeless feeling

Theses were the symptoms being kept at bay by going high fat low carb (and counting calories/ not eating like Joey on friends), but this way of eating wasn't a miracle for me by any means the way it was for some people in the keto subreddits and Facebook groups.

I am le tired of counting calories and working hard to stay under my carb limit. What could be simpler than eliminating all carbs or plant foods?

Day 1 of my new life starts now. The Meat Is On.

An all meat diet

Hello. I am a Mexican American female, 29 years old. I have had type 1 diabetes for 17 years. I'm going to try a meat/animal product only diet for 30 days at least. But I plan to eat this way for life. I'm ready to shed the shackles of modern consumer, grain based culture. It's time to unleash my inner carnívoro.

The name of this blog url is a transliteration of the Korean word for carnivore, 육식.