4 Month Update UGGGGHH

As you can probably surmise from the title, month 4 was a slog and a travesty. I'm getting fatter, and I'm getting less okay with it.

I'm also mad at myself, because the temptations I've been experiencing have been given in to too many times. I should re-write that. I GAVE IN TO TEMPTATION TOO MANY TIMES. There. ownership. Feels good in a shitty way.

In late July and early August, a few cool things happened. I got to hang out with some friends from Crossfit I hadn't seen in a while, because some of them threw a beach/boat party (they're older and richer than I am). I had some kind of party cocktail dispensed from a cooler, and a few beers and some vodka. Then later, I ate the cheese off some pizza they ordered. Less than optimal. Why is beer and other alcohol still okay in my mind??

The Texas Trip

Then a few weeks later, I got to fly out to Texas to see mi familia again. I missed them so. Still do, now. Those 3 days flew by. I tried to minimize diet damage by only ordering burger patties + eggs at Whataburger during breakfast time, and picking barbecue joints to eat. My dad and brother even grilled steaks for us <3 <3 <3. Still, for some reason my hand kept reaching to the other side items - a little piece of bread here, some biscuits there, cole slaw, mac & cheese. All just a few bites. But enough to make my morale sink, my blood sugar rise, and make me wonder if I can really hack this WOE.

And of course, I drank some beer at the top of the Reunion Tower.

Texas beer, naturally

The Bear talked about having difficulty managing cravings for the first SIX YEARS (!!!omgggg) into his all-meat diet. That is less than heartening. Especially since my results aren't exactly jazzy enough for me to keep up my motivation and willpower in the face of Crema Catalan (amazing dessert at a Tapas place my parents took us to in McKinney, TX).

The most frustrating thing is that before this big trip home, I was actually very comfortable and in the groove of eating only meat. I could even imagine a Christmas or Thanksgiving where I would shun all cookies, candy, desserts, etc. I felt a change a'comin'! Then boom. Childhood memories overtake, and suddenly I'm wandering my parents' kitchen, looking for crunchy things to snack on. In case you were wondering, the winner was a bowl of tortilla chips, saltines, and graham crackers. <------- SO PATHETIC.

Food is still love when it comes to my family, apparently.

My stomach had been giving me problems before we left for TX, and my not-so-solid stools continued during my carby weekend. That was last weekend, and for some reason I still have diarrhea. My body must have to go through some kind of re-adaptation every fucking time I slip. I'll try my hardest to remember this in the future.

(Oh, and since my 120 day mark on this diet was the day after I got back from my trip, I weighed myself. 193 pounds. That is 8 pounds up from last month, and it is like a fucking knife in my heart. I'm hoping that can mostly be explained by the carbs.)

Sometimes though, just sticking with the diet doesn't even help me. Take yesterday.

The Saturday Saga

My friend Marcos and I went to the KC Ethnic Enrichment festival. A really fun time where different organizations around the city set up booths to sell their country's food and knick-knacks, and there's a main stage with performances. The biggest lines were at the Hawaii booth (for sno-cones) and the Mexico booth. Which tells you all you need to know about Midwest America.

I had a grand time at the festival, sidestepping all of the worst, most delicious-looking things (povitica, Thai coffee, American Indian Fry Bread, bacon rolls). I had some various meat-on-a-stick things from Laos and the Philippines.

I had 2 beers. The horror, I know.

I thought I had been doing great all day. Hadn't taken any insulin, but later after I came home (around 7:30 pm) when I checked my sugar it was 174. Not great, but not bad considering the beers. I corrected with 2 units I believe.

Had some ribeye steak for dinner - 1.16 lbs said the package. This is where I made my fatal error I think. I gave myself 4 units of insulin.

Normally this would be ok for a pound of meat, but I didn't check my blood sugar beforehand, so I probably would have been ok with just 3 units. Well, later, around 11 pm, I started feeling funny. So I got a few bites of summer sausage, 4 hot dogs, and some eggs. I was trying to chase away my low blood sugar, but it wasn't happening. I wasn't even hungry anymore, but I was trying to choke down all this food. It was terrible. I checked myself like 15 minutes after eating all this - 52.

Felt shitty for like an hour, whilst I ate some of Tim's dark chocolate, found some crappy sugar-free candies I munched on (because sometimes the oligosaccharides in them can raise my blood sugar anyway), and took a sip of a real Coke we somehow had in our fridge from Tim's brother's stash.

My life is a comedy of errors - I decide to commit to just meat, only to be thrown a loop with taking too much insulin. I had no cheese in the house, unfortunately. It's hard to treat a low with just meat, even if it's processed. So coke and chocolate it is. (I was really trying to get away from cheese, but maybe I need to keep it stocked.)

I finally went to bed after I tested my blood sugar at 61. Still felt low and crappy. Oh, and I also still had diarrhea. WHAT THE FUCK IS MY LIFE?!

But I still count yesterday as a fun day since I got to hang out with Marcos and see some fun ethnic food and garb. And hey, I had some weird vivid dreams (one upside of carb time).

*End*

Woke up this morning at 196. This really makes me want to throw up my hands and go back to keto. But I've committed a year to this to just find out how much better (or worse, now that I think of it) my body can be on an all-meat diet.

I think my T1 diabetes really hinders my ability to stay on this meat diet. Or, is it my preference to control my blood sugars what is really making me fail?

What if I were to increase my basal unit of 10 Lantus units to 12 (or whatever it takes), then not take any Humalog for bolus?

Am I willing to put up with higher blood sugars over the course of an undetermined period of time, in order to make the diet easier and try to see that they come down little by little on their own? I'm not sure.

This is what some of the T2 diabetics have done in the Zeroing In On Health Facebook group. Of course, most don't take insulin...

I'll have to think about that.

Ok, I think I've rambled on enough. I'll leave you with the only measurements I bothered to take of myself, besides my aforementioned weight. Really really really hope it's just due to the beer and accidental carbs of yesterday.

87 cm waist (formerly 82.5)

121.5 cm hips (formerly 114.5)

This blog is turning out to be more negative than I'd hoped it would be. Pretty bummed.

I'll leave with a positive thought. My nails are freakin' fantastically long and strong! They haven't broken, but they do bend sometimes. I'm thinking about cutting them, as sometimes typing gets annoying with nails this long. But part of me wants to see how long they can get!

Long nails. That polish did smell like grape for a short while.

3 Month Update

Yesterday was day 90 on Zero Carb! Time is really flying. Each day seems to crawl by itself, but suddenly you find yourself in the future.

This month seemed a bit smoother overall. For a while I still seemed to have issues with loose-type bowel movements arising at inopportune moments, and being kind of crampy/painful. It may have had to do with the kind of meat I was eating (ground beef that was too fatty), or possibly the quantity. The issue also seemed tied to my period. I've started eating eggs almost every day, and so that may be playing a helpful role in slowing things down. All I know is that I had 4 eggs/ 4 pc of bacon for breakfast yesterday, ground beef for lunch, a rare steak last night at 10 pm (when I finally got hungry) and I feel great this AM.

Now for the measurements. I'm not that excited. I'm also not that worried about the increases. Funny how abandoning sweets and carbs evens out your demeanor and brightens your outlook!

Weight 184.6 lbs, 83.7 kg (in case you forgot - I'm 5'3", 63 cm tall)

Waist 82.5 cm, 32.5 in

Hips 114.5 cm, 45.1 in

Right thigh 75 cm, 29.5 in

Left arm 39 cm, 15.4 in

Neck 34 cm, 13.4 in

Around 6 pounds gained, and also a few inches. I could definitely tell. My jeans weren't fitting as nicely anymore, so I went to Savers (thrift/secondhand store) to get some more clothes. I'm fat, but I'm oddly ok with it. I still fit in a lot of my stretchier clothes, and those are the best ones anyway. Whoever decided leggings were okay to wear outside was a genius.

During this third month of just eating meat, I had a challenge and I did not rise to the occasion. Tim and I went to the Kansas City Zoo to celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary. It was a hot day, and I had packed some steak with me to eat. However, my mistake was not packing it well enough so that I'd feel like carrying it around with me until lunch time, and so I left it in our car.

Now, we could have gone to our car and come back to the zoo, but this zoo is freakin' huge and I was so tired. I also started getting low at one point, having given myself too much insulin for a bunless cheeseburger I ate there.

Usually when I'm low I just try eating meat and waiting, but in this case the only meat I had made available to myself was a hot dog. So I ate that. Then I ate one of Tim's french fries, and a little less than half of the hot dog bun.

I could have spent another $6 (!!) on another hot dog frank, but I just got kind of fed up with the situation. Luckily, that little indiscretion was probably only 20 grams of carbs.

But the zoo was overall really fun, and some of the animals were really active and well worth seeing. We got to see a tiger play with a big plastic ball, and we saw chimp snack time. So adorable! I could have watched the chimpanzees all day.

After we got back from the zoo later that evening, after we rested and showered, we went to an underwhelming steakhouse. I ate some breaded buffalo wings, for no real reason other than we had a coupon for them. I tried to just eat the meatiest parts, but that was probably another 10 or so grams of carbs. Our food took a long time to come out (maybe that's what happens at steakhouses? I haven't been to very many), and I definitely should have gotten the ribeye or prime rib instead of the tiny 8 oz filet mignon. Oh well, live and learn. I also bit into the toothpick used to attach the bacon to the steak. Facepalm. But it was a lovely night with my man, because we were together. *barf i know*

Tim and I split a bottle of wine every night that anniversary weekend. This may have stalled any weight loss effort as well, but honestly, I didn't notice. I felt fatter and squishier this month anyway, without the help of much carbs or alcohol.

The folks at www.zerocarbhealth.com and its corresponding Facebook group really recommend sticking with this way of eating for 6 months to truly see the impact on the body. I'm very optimistic that my body is changing for the better, despite the extra chub. My face gets occasional blemishes, but this may still be part of the healing process.

A cool thing I've been noticing is that I have to take slightly less humalog. This all-meat diet is probably good for my metabolism and diabetes, though it works considerably slower than just a regular VLCHF/keto diet. I'm still at 10 units of Lantus.

I've also found that sometimes in the evening I appear to be more sensitive to the insulin, and so a few times this week I've over-corrected and ended up a bit low. When I dip into the 50s, I don't feel as ravenously hungry as in my carby past, but I've also never previously had the hypoglycemic symptom of where your tongue/lips go numb. That's happened to me twice now in the past month. It's kind of scary, but I just eat some cheese, summer sausage, and/or pork rinds to feel better.

After these low blood sugar episodes at night, I don't take any extra insulin for the food I eat to correct. In the mornings, I notice I'm usually higher, in the 150s. This contrasts with my regular morning numbers of 90 to 115. I'll just have to work on not taking as much insulin at dinner time.

Things are happening, things are exciting. I'm totally ready for month #4!

In the home stretch

Today is day 24, and I'm feeling good! I think ground beef and ribeye does a body nice. Last week's pot roast experiment did not end up so well. Think cramping and camping out on the porcelain. I wonder if it was too much protein?

Anyway, my itchiness appears to be subsiding, and I haven't noticed many if any new blemishes on my face. I'm lovin' it. I've been on an early period this week too, so I'm interested to know how The Crimson Wave will be for me next month when I've been on this way of eating for longer.

The face this egg is making reflects how I felt when I woke up Monday morning (yesterday) and my blood sugar was 207 fasting.

Mother. effing. 207.

I had to make sure I wasn't using expired insulin. Whaddya know, I WAS. Exp date was 10/2014. I always tried to stretch out the usage of my insulin pens beyond what was probably acceptable (30 days). But yikes. My bad.

Replaced my Humalog with a fresh pen. I'm trying not to be afraid of dosing myself as I need it. I'm going to get my numbers down or go low trying.

This 207 was also probably the result of my less than optimal meals at restaurants this weekend while the in-laws were in town. I think I managed very well though, and I know enough to not go to a Mexican restaurant if I can help it. Or at least, not Taqueria Mexico. 

I got a plain carne asada steak, and some huevos con jamon. I tasted it and I could tell the ham was adulterated with something sweet. It tasted like something I might get in a Chinese (well, American Chinese) restaurant. 

Proud to say I did avoid any tortilla chips, breads, and supplementary potatoes in all incarnations. Maybe I can say I'm #winning even if my diabetes hasn't gotten with the program entirely.