5 month update

Hello blog! I don't have much to report, really, but it will be useful for future me (and anyone else who stumbles upon this) to write my dutiful monthly entry anyway.

September 15 (Tues) was the 150th day since I committed to eating only animal products. My weight when I last checked it 5 days ago was 90.1 kg, or 198.6 lbs. I didn't take any measurements, since I know I'm gaining inches. I only have to gauge the tightening fit of the new jeans I bought a month or so ago, that were supposed to be seeing me through this period of gain. Back then, I bought a size 18 just in case I should expand more. And I had to break out those big jeans this week. They were a bit baggy in the legs/butt, but I bet I fill them out soon enough.

I'm writing about this more matter-of-factly because I think I've given up despairing about it. Or, at least I'm on an upswing of mood. Trying to just trust in the process, and trusting that my body is smarter than I think it is. I mean, surely I'm gaining muscle under there and not just fat.

For Labor Day, I took a short vacation with my friend to Eureka Springs, Arkansas. I broke my meat plan with a few kettle-cooked chips, some beer, a calzone, and then some ice cream. It was rough; I could feel the sugar and carbs gaining control of me and my brain, so much so that it scared me how powerless I felt against the urge to eat sugar. The ice cream wasn't eaten on the trip, but after I got home, I was so hard up and craving ice cream that Tim indulgently took me out in the rain to the grocery store. I got 3 half-cup size ice cream containers (the small Blue Bunny single servings). It was a mistake - they all tasted gross and full of chemicals, and the outing wasn't worth it.

The day after that vacation, I weighed myself. I was 199 lbs, which I thought had to surely be due to what I had eaten. Seeing that I've only lost .4 lbs since then about a week later, I'm even more confused about my body is doing. After that setback, I've since been on meat only.

My blood sugars have been in pretty much the same range, with a few lows when I take too much insulin. Same old story. I do think I will try eating a piece of cheese at night before I go to bed to see if it translates into lower morning numbers. Those have been around 130-170 mg/dl. Not the greatest.

Bathroom event summary, since you're dying to know: I was starting to eat leaner meats, and for a while my poops were dreams! Solid, quick. But yesterday things started loosening up again. I'll have to eat leaner. If only the lean cuts weren't so expensive and/or not tasty.

I've been trying to do yoga classes at the gym. My hip is still hurting me, which I think is unrelated, but I thought yoga couldn't hurt. Turns out I was wrong - some of those positions are not friendly! Still, I'll keep trying.

I was extremely proud of myself for not eating pizza when I took my partner out for his birthday. However, it was a strange thing to witness the staff at Pie Five struggle so mightily to fulfill my request for a crustless pizza.

Having been a subscriber to r/keto on Reddit back in the days of my ketogenic dieting, I knew that places like Cici's Pizza could do a crustless pizza - where they basically stick all the toppings in an aluminum pan and melt it together in the oven. Like a casserole or something.

The Pie Five folks did try to do that for me, but it failed with their pans and oven. What they ended up giving me was the uncooked ingredients piled on one of their pizza pans, based on my suggestion.

At least I had a buy-one-get-one coupon, so I didn't really feel that bad eating something I definitely could have prepared for myself at home. But still, in 10 or 20 years I imagine that more people will learn about how good an all meat, or at least low carb high fat, diet is. They'll learn to demand what their diet needs, just like vegetarians and gluten-free folks do today (they did offer me a gluten-free crust). Restaurants are going to have to learn to adapt to what customers ask for.

There is something so absurd about eating like 1.5 cups of shredded mozzarella off a plate in a restaurant. Yet somehow it's perfectly acceptable when it's melted, on top of a pizza. #murica

I took a picture of ironic wall decoration - seems like it should really say, "we only make one kind of pie: full of carbs"

3 Month Update

Yesterday was day 90 on Zero Carb! Time is really flying. Each day seems to crawl by itself, but suddenly you find yourself in the future.

This month seemed a bit smoother overall. For a while I still seemed to have issues with loose-type bowel movements arising at inopportune moments, and being kind of crampy/painful. It may have had to do with the kind of meat I was eating (ground beef that was too fatty), or possibly the quantity. The issue also seemed tied to my period. I've started eating eggs almost every day, and so that may be playing a helpful role in slowing things down. All I know is that I had 4 eggs/ 4 pc of bacon for breakfast yesterday, ground beef for lunch, a rare steak last night at 10 pm (when I finally got hungry) and I feel great this AM.

Now for the measurements. I'm not that excited. I'm also not that worried about the increases. Funny how abandoning sweets and carbs evens out your demeanor and brightens your outlook!

Weight 184.6 lbs, 83.7 kg (in case you forgot - I'm 5'3", 63 cm tall)

Waist 82.5 cm, 32.5 in

Hips 114.5 cm, 45.1 in

Right thigh 75 cm, 29.5 in

Left arm 39 cm, 15.4 in

Neck 34 cm, 13.4 in

Around 6 pounds gained, and also a few inches. I could definitely tell. My jeans weren't fitting as nicely anymore, so I went to Savers (thrift/secondhand store) to get some more clothes. I'm fat, but I'm oddly ok with it. I still fit in a lot of my stretchier clothes, and those are the best ones anyway. Whoever decided leggings were okay to wear outside was a genius.

During this third month of just eating meat, I had a challenge and I did not rise to the occasion. Tim and I went to the Kansas City Zoo to celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary. It was a hot day, and I had packed some steak with me to eat. However, my mistake was not packing it well enough so that I'd feel like carrying it around with me until lunch time, and so I left it in our car.

Now, we could have gone to our car and come back to the zoo, but this zoo is freakin' huge and I was so tired. I also started getting low at one point, having given myself too much insulin for a bunless cheeseburger I ate there.

Usually when I'm low I just try eating meat and waiting, but in this case the only meat I had made available to myself was a hot dog. So I ate that. Then I ate one of Tim's french fries, and a little less than half of the hot dog bun.

I could have spent another $6 (!!) on another hot dog frank, but I just got kind of fed up with the situation. Luckily, that little indiscretion was probably only 20 grams of carbs.

But the zoo was overall really fun, and some of the animals were really active and well worth seeing. We got to see a tiger play with a big plastic ball, and we saw chimp snack time. So adorable! I could have watched the chimpanzees all day.

After we got back from the zoo later that evening, after we rested and showered, we went to an underwhelming steakhouse. I ate some breaded buffalo wings, for no real reason other than we had a coupon for them. I tried to just eat the meatiest parts, but that was probably another 10 or so grams of carbs. Our food took a long time to come out (maybe that's what happens at steakhouses? I haven't been to very many), and I definitely should have gotten the ribeye or prime rib instead of the tiny 8 oz filet mignon. Oh well, live and learn. I also bit into the toothpick used to attach the bacon to the steak. Facepalm. But it was a lovely night with my man, because we were together. *barf i know*

Tim and I split a bottle of wine every night that anniversary weekend. This may have stalled any weight loss effort as well, but honestly, I didn't notice. I felt fatter and squishier this month anyway, without the help of much carbs or alcohol.

The folks at www.zerocarbhealth.com and its corresponding Facebook group really recommend sticking with this way of eating for 6 months to truly see the impact on the body. I'm very optimistic that my body is changing for the better, despite the extra chub. My face gets occasional blemishes, but this may still be part of the healing process.

A cool thing I've been noticing is that I have to take slightly less humalog. This all-meat diet is probably good for my metabolism and diabetes, though it works considerably slower than just a regular VLCHF/keto diet. I'm still at 10 units of Lantus.

I've also found that sometimes in the evening I appear to be more sensitive to the insulin, and so a few times this week I've over-corrected and ended up a bit low. When I dip into the 50s, I don't feel as ravenously hungry as in my carby past, but I've also never previously had the hypoglycemic symptom of where your tongue/lips go numb. That's happened to me twice now in the past month. It's kind of scary, but I just eat some cheese, summer sausage, and/or pork rinds to feel better.

After these low blood sugar episodes at night, I don't take any extra insulin for the food I eat to correct. In the mornings, I notice I'm usually higher, in the 150s. This contrasts with my regular morning numbers of 90 to 115. I'll just have to work on not taking as much insulin at dinner time.

Things are happening, things are exciting. I'm totally ready for month #4!

Day 60 update

Hello blog, good to see you. Just thought I'd pop in. Today is Thursday, June 18. Otherwise known as Day 61 in this WOE.

Over the past month (month 2 of this all-meat eating experiment), several notable things have happened.

On May 23rd, I took part in the Crossfit "Murph" challenge. This was a poor decision health-wise, probably, since I hadn't been an active participant at Crossfit for about 4 weeks at the time. If you don't know, this Murph workout is

1 mile run
100 pullups (I substituted ring rows)
200 pushups (I did them on my knees)
300 air squats
1 mile run

This whole stupid affair took me 1 hour and 12 minutes to complete. I pretty much just walked the last mile. After I was done, I tested my blood sugar and I was 237 mg/dl. YIKES. Just like old times, when I used to eat paleo carbs and then work out.

I was also sore for 5 days in my legs/core area, and for 8 days in my arms. I seriously thought I had a mild case of rhabdomyolysis. But my pee wasn't dark and I didn't get puffy, so probably not. One of the folks at my gym at least DID suffer that fate, however. Crossfit is dangerous, kids.

After that challenge, I could feel my body get a bit puffier/fatter. It was probably inflammation contributing to a bit of weight gain.

Also this month, my poops have been inconsistent, still, and some acne has reappeared. I thought for sure my stomach things would settle out this month, but I feel like things are still quite unpredictable. I hope I'm not giving myself some kind of gastrointestinal disorder. This may have something to do with the fact that I've added eggs in from time to time, and cheese maybe 2x a week (not that often, but it's not off limits either). I'll monitor these things. They're very annoying and hard to miss.

I went to the endocrinologist for a checkup, and my A1c increased from 5.2 to 6.2. This one was a bit of a blow. I pretty much looked a gift horse in the mouth when I turned away from keto to carnivory, it seems. Here are my past month's numbers as taken from my meter at the doctor's office:

I'll be waiting with bated breath to see how I do next month. I have increased my nighttime Lantus dosage to 10 units, originally 7 units in mid-April. I'll probably have to increase further.

And I can definitely tell I'm getting fatter. In fact, I know I am. I bought some pairs of pants from Savers this weekend, because the pants I have are getting too tight. :'( Measurements I took this morning confirm this. I'll have a separate post up later with my measurements. It's not pretty.

I need to work on being happier and more content with myself. But it's hard when I'm not seeing the results I want. Oh well. Onward to Month 3!

I'm the idiot

...who let her grip get too slack on her greasy microwave container, and ended up dropping two hamburger patties and their grease on the break room floor today at work. But I still ate those patties, because I have no shame and they were delicious.

Luckily, the spill was localized to the corner just near the microwave, under the counter. I mopped it up as best I could, and just hoped no one would decide to dance over there and break their hip.

Day 16 almost in the books. Oh, and I had a real, honest to goodness poop today! It had been a few days, and I have been EATING. Probably 2500, 3000 cals most days. Amazing.

For little 5'3" me, the eating to satiety part it's been really awesome. I've restricted myself to less than 1800 too many days of my life. I'm loving this meatness. It's getting easier to resist the sweet "foods" around me. Today we had donuts at work for the billionth time this year. I didn't even lift the flap up off the box to see what kinds there were.

I seem to be sleeping really well. Not that easy for me to get up in the morning yet, but I'm sure it'll improve with time.

One other bodily improvement I noticed is that my tongue is no longer coated. I've had a white coated tongue for as long as I can remember! This is weird and great! I'm on my way to being normal!!

Blood sugars have been high still, in the 130s to 150s. Remarkably steady, but still high. I hate that I have to pump myself with insulin. If I weren't the level-headed human I am, I'd skip my Lantus dose for a few days (weeks?) to trim down. They call that "diabulemia," kids, and it's a big no-no. You could literally die. I could give myself diabetic-ketoacidosis.

Insulin makes you fat, but it also makes you live. I kinda like living, so I'll stick with the plan ;)

Day 14 happenings

Tim is going to take me out for barbecue tonight, since I helped him edit his school paper. I always help him edit his papers, but still. If he wants to take me for a night on the town, I'm not one to argue!

Today is May 2, day 14. So far I've eaten probably about a pound of ground beef, 73/27. Nice and fatty. I stocked up on that stuff at Aldi, so I'm pretty much set for a week or two, maybe three.

A few things to note. Yesterday I went a whole day, finally, with no bowel movement. Up to now they hadn't been very inspiring or normal in nature. Maybe my body is finally being nourished by all the meat I'm giving it, and has nothing left for the toilet. I think I'm heading in the right direction.

I may be drinking too much water, and possibly confusing hunger signals and thirst signals. After all, isn't it such a common diet trope? "Stop confusing your thirst for hunger! If you're hungry, try drinking a big glass of water before you eat." How weird and lovely to live on this meat-eating path, where such fooling of the body is not necessary, and in fact detrimental to progress!

Finally, I think I'm going to have to halt the Crossfit workouts for the foreseeable future. I've been in denial about this, but I'm probably just confusing my metabolism, and not letting my overweight body heal properly. I'm sad about this.

The social aspect of it will be missed, as will the stress-relieving parts, and the parts where I beat someone occasionally with my double-unders skillz and it feels goooood. But we did the hero WOD "Manion" on Wednesday. I am STILL sore on day 4 of the aftermath. I didn't even do it the Rx way. But 145 squats at 105 lbs and 1.25 miles of running is probably just the workout to make and keep me fat. My body thinks I'm in some kind of hunting situation and is unleashing the cortisol meant to build my belly fat to protect my vital organs.

Off to chow down on some brisket!

This was Day 6

Trying to get my posts done within the correct day. I'm not a very diligent blogger by nature,* so maybe after tomorrow, since the first week will be out of the way, I'll switch to a more weekly or biweekly report schedule.

I ate more today, but that was probably to be expected considering I dragged my ass to Crossfit today. It wasn't a terrible workout, kinda fun actually. Really took it out of me though, even though I scaled down from burpee pullups. This is what I did:

For time:

20 burpees + 20 ring rows
30 ground to overhead (Rx was 95 for girls, I did 75 lbs)
20 ring rows + 20 burpees

Did it in 14:38. That was in addition to a horrible warm up with jump squats/lunges, and a few snatch exercises. But it was fun. I've grown quite fond of that sweaty burn in the last 2+ years I've been a Crossfitter.

I keep track on Myfitnesspal of my calories and macros, just to see. I also try to emphasize fat for steady blood sugar control so it helps me there. Yesterday I ate roughly 1700 cals, today was 2300. But at this point, I'm so over calories. The idea that we humans know exactly how our bodies will burn foods every single time is now quite laughable to me. If you want to learn and laugh too, check out this series on Dr. Jason Fung's site, https://intensivedietarymanagement.com/how-do-we-gain-weight-calories-part-1/. It's so long, but so great.

(grossness warning) Another development today is that my poop changed. Instead of being so loose and liquidy, what I managed to squeeze out today resembled little dark brown squiggles. To me, they resembled green beans, but smaller? In my whole adult life I cannot remember it ever looking like that. Weird and cool! I'm so pumped for my next bowel movement.

As I recall, The Bear had said that stools are smaller in general on an all meat diet, because the unnecessary roughage/unavailable nutrients of all plant products are what really make up the majority of people's feces. No plants, less poop (I'm going to make this phrase into a t-shirt).

Planning to go to bed at a reasonable hour. I truly intend to make it to tomorrow's 9 am Crossfit WOD, but if I'm too sleepy I'll just reevaluate.

Final thought: the frozen ground beef patties from Costco (big blue bag, 78/22 beef) are pretty much awesome. So fast, so fatty, so easy.

*Seriously, I've had a lot of blogs that I just kinda gave up on. I run out of steam after a month or so. This issue goes all the way back to livejournal, man. I'm also torn about people knowing my business, because I also like attention and praise. I'm a super human being. #complicated - ok hashtags are dumb, especially in a blog, sorrry. #notsorry

How Day 4 went

Well, I thought things were on the up and up. But in the middle of the night, (AND LET ME WARN YOU, POOP TALK AHEAD), I got up to pee like I usually do since I drink so much water.

I just got some slight cramping, and then I knew it was coming. Those on a high-fat diet may remember the transition period. I had a bit of looseness, due to all that good tallow I got in a huge dose when I ate that pound of beef for lunch dinner the previous day.

Anyway, no big deal. It just woke me up a bit more than a late night pee would have. I had gone to bed early again - around 10:45. I've been sleeping really well the past couple nights. The only downside is that I no longer have the crazy dreams associated with excessive carbohydrate consumption. Believe me, I fucking noticed that. I don't remember what happens really totally within those kinds of dreams, just more vignettes. For instance, I had imagined Pope Francis eating a slice of Sbarro pizza as his advisers pity him. "No, Il Papa, no."

In the early evening I did experience some more diarrhea, but nothing major. It'll take more than that to derail me. I've also had on/off episodes of my throat feeling more phlegmy than usual.

Today (ok, Yesterday since I'm late with this post), Earth Day, also happened to be the opening day of the new Whole Foods nearby. It's within 5 minutes walking distance, which is pretty cool out here in the suburbs of Kansas City.

Tim and I drove over to take a look-see (hey, it was chilly). Man. Viewing it all through a meat-eater's lens is so weird and sad. I used to be someone who would pay $8.00 for a chocolate bar just because it was fair-trade, organic. I used to be the girl who would think nothing of getting a $2.50 bag of fresh made donuts (yes, they have those) to snack on while shopping. I used to be obsessed with discovering new plant-based processed products to try.

The one thing that did give me pause and a bit of wistfulness was seeing that they have a bulk nut butter machine that makes PISTACHIO BUTTER. Oh man. $19.99 a lb, no big deal right??! I asked Tim to get me some pistachio butter for christmas :) I know I shouldn't be planning cheats already and that zero-carb is a lifestyle, a path. I'm an imperfect creature.

Asleep by about 11:20 pm, but woke up a bit nauseated in the night. I think it had to do with the two tb of tallow I supplemented my lean chuck steak with. I need to start getting fattier meat cuts!