The 7th Month - Ranty, long, sorry

7 months into this attempt at an all meat way of eating. And everything has gone to shit.

Apologies upfront. This month I'm tired of diet blogging in general, even though I guess by definition I'm a diet blogger. Yes, I'm aware of the irony.

Initial thoughts/assessment

Current weight: 207 lbs. (2.8 lb gain)

Waist 89 cm, 35 in (unchanged since last month)

Hips 124 cm, 49 in (5 cm gain)

Right thigh 79 cm, 31 in (3 cm gain)

Left arm 42.5 cm, 16.75 in (.5 cm loss, maybe)

Forgot to measure my neck

I don't know what my problem was exactly, this month, sticking to the meat thing. I mean, I haven't really gained weight or size, which is good news. Possibilities:

• pressures of my expanding waistline (literally! in my jeans!); 
• the fact that the doctors can't seem to do anything about my hip pain other than tell me to go to physical therapy or take ibuprofen; 
• the dwindling daylight hours; 
• holiday season
• making healthcare plan decisions stressing me out
• the nagging thought that maybe I should just start fucking exercising again because it might improve my mood, but I'm kinda loathe/afraid to do so

Whatever the reason, this past month, I think I've had more days of eating crap than I have of just eating meat.

I'm in a diet quandary. Still trying to find MY personal Way Of Eating.

Nitty gritty

So at the start of month 7, I thought, I would move into a more keto type zero carb diet. For better blood sugars, and hopefully better fat loss.

Realistically, it meant more butter, bacon, eggs, heavy whipping cream, sour cream, cheese, and fattier beef/meat cuts. I also fired up myfitnesspal again and tracked what I ate, aiming for that golden 80% fat ratio. This meant sometimes I'd pour myself some HWC, measured out on the scale (oh, old friend), and add a splash of water to dilute. Then that would be my after dinner snack. Yep, weird.

I didn't want to limit calories again, since I'm trying to de-program myself from thinking calories are the absolute be all and end all when it comes to weight loss. If it was that easy, I'd be thin by now. So my goal was always 2700, ballpark number. Too much, maybe? Eh. I'm sick of being hungry, and that amount satisfied me.

On the paper wall calendar we keep at home near the fridge and the scale (such subliminal messages right?), I write down a check mark if I was able to eat only from the animal kingdom. If not, I put a sad face and summarize what I ate. Alcohol is exempt, because I've decided wine has to be in my life. Now and forevermore. Subject to change.

As I've typed out this little calendar ritual description just now, I realize how disordered and fucked up it sounds. THIS IS LIFE AS A FEMALE IN AMERICA.

Anyway. It's the life I've chosen for myself, continually, at least.

I was doing fine for a week or so on my ZC keto kick, and then they started handing out the free food at work. They do this a couple times a week when it gets to the "busy season." When one department is busy, everyone gets lunch catered in.

There is always some kind of sandwich, chips, and a cookie or dessert. And I just got tired of resisting. So I ate. I ate some more. I enjoooooyyyyyed. So sue me, I did.

After such enjoyment and a bit of extra overindulging from the omnipresent candy bowls of my coworkers, I would feel bad about it, and promise I'd do better the next day, and then I would, except for the times that I didn't.

I surmise that part of the reason that it's been easy for me to descend into processed carb land lately is because I'm obviously not one of those who is gluten intolerant, or has bad reactions to diary, or any of that. My body quietly absorbs anything and everything put into it, more or less. Hurray for that goddamn thrifty genotype.

I've been scanning my face for signs of more pimples than usual, and nothing. The worst thing so far I've seen symptom wise is that my head is slightly itchy and I have dandruff. I really wish I was the kind of person whose arthritis symptoms or gout would just flare and I'd be in agony. That'd show me not to eat cake.

I know - I should be careful what I wish for.

I've been reading Paul Bragg's godawful book about fasting. Don't pick it up, it will infuriate you. BUT, I'm kind of intrigued by the powers of the human body to heal itself, and I figured a weekly 24 hour fast like he advocates would be a fun thing to throw in the mix. Why not. This is a kitchen sink situation here, people.

So, I have been fasting. On Mondays for the past 4 weeks. Either I've eaten breakfast and then fasted until the following day's breakfast, or had Sunday dinner and then fasted until Monday's dinner. Just a day, no big whoop.

The first time I fasted, it went alright. Pretty steady blood sugar throughout the day, but it was dropping. I was still taking 11 units of Lantus nightly at that point.

The following week, I barely held on because my blood sugar just got too low. I did have a few fun size snickers bars in order to raise my blood sugar. After that, I decided to lower my Lantus dose to 9 units nightly, and so far that's worked pretty well, even during my fast days. The lowest I ever really get is in the 70s, but I feel fine. Hungry, colder than usual, but fine. Hope I'm not aggravating my thyroid too badly...

This week, before my amazing family comes and visits me for Thanksgiving, I'm sort of preparing for the face-stuffing. Cleansing, if you will (ugh, I know, sorry). In addition to my Monday, fast, I'm doing a 24-hr fast today, which is Friday. Saturday begins the whirlwind of exciting activities, and I'm going to just go with the flow. Be easy on myself. Eat what I want to eat and what feels good.

We're going to eat at a casino buffet on Thanskgiving. You're jealous, I can tell. My stomach is trembling in terror.

Wrapping it up

Having only gained 3 pounds maybe over the last month, I'm hoping this is a plateauing out. My body wants to be here, at 207 lbs, right now. Far be it from me to try and torture it into losing fat. That method has worked in the past, but historically, only short term. I don't know what my long term solution is, because every time I thought I found it, it was really only for, say, a year or two. RIP weight watchers, RIP paleo.

Maybe the fasting is helping offset the carbs I've eaten? Maybe it's also helping my skin? Maybe it's the coffee I've reinstated that's giving me some hidden benefits? There are too many fucking variables for me to ever figure out what's going on with my metabolism, so this month I've stopped trying.

 I don't know if this is the end of Diameatus. Maybe I just needed a break from all of the meat preparation and stress. I'm learning to be kinder to myself too. I was having a bit of a freakout because I'm traveling soon to meet up with some friends for a bachelorette weekend, and various pictures will be taken, so my fatness will be on display for posterity. Honestly, being in the presence of that many females with camera phones gives me more anxiety than this big-ass needle does.

Above all, I'm trying to remember that no one really gives a shit about what I look like or what my struggles are. Not you, not my distant facebook friends, not Twitter, not anyone else. Maybe my family, but they have their own individual struggles too. I'm definitely not the focus of anyone else's life cinema.

I'm doing my NaNoWriMo novel too this month, which is going pretty well, if I keep on it and don't fall too far behind in the excitement of Thanksgiving week. It's a good kind of stress. Writing this blog entry was definitely a mode of procrastination on that front.

See you next month when everything is sparkly.

5 month update

Hello blog! I don't have much to report, really, but it will be useful for future me (and anyone else who stumbles upon this) to write my dutiful monthly entry anyway.

September 15 (Tues) was the 150th day since I committed to eating only animal products. My weight when I last checked it 5 days ago was 90.1 kg, or 198.6 lbs. I didn't take any measurements, since I know I'm gaining inches. I only have to gauge the tightening fit of the new jeans I bought a month or so ago, that were supposed to be seeing me through this period of gain. Back then, I bought a size 18 just in case I should expand more. And I had to break out those big jeans this week. They were a bit baggy in the legs/butt, but I bet I fill them out soon enough.

I'm writing about this more matter-of-factly because I think I've given up despairing about it. Or, at least I'm on an upswing of mood. Trying to just trust in the process, and trusting that my body is smarter than I think it is. I mean, surely I'm gaining muscle under there and not just fat.

For Labor Day, I took a short vacation with my friend to Eureka Springs, Arkansas. I broke my meat plan with a few kettle-cooked chips, some beer, a calzone, and then some ice cream. It was rough; I could feel the sugar and carbs gaining control of me and my brain, so much so that it scared me how powerless I felt against the urge to eat sugar. The ice cream wasn't eaten on the trip, but after I got home, I was so hard up and craving ice cream that Tim indulgently took me out in the rain to the grocery store. I got 3 half-cup size ice cream containers (the small Blue Bunny single servings). It was a mistake - they all tasted gross and full of chemicals, and the outing wasn't worth it.

The day after that vacation, I weighed myself. I was 199 lbs, which I thought had to surely be due to what I had eaten. Seeing that I've only lost .4 lbs since then about a week later, I'm even more confused about my body is doing. After that setback, I've since been on meat only.

My blood sugars have been in pretty much the same range, with a few lows when I take too much insulin. Same old story. I do think I will try eating a piece of cheese at night before I go to bed to see if it translates into lower morning numbers. Those have been around 130-170 mg/dl. Not the greatest.

Bathroom event summary, since you're dying to know: I was starting to eat leaner meats, and for a while my poops were dreams! Solid, quick. But yesterday things started loosening up again. I'll have to eat leaner. If only the lean cuts weren't so expensive and/or not tasty.

I've been trying to do yoga classes at the gym. My hip is still hurting me, which I think is unrelated, but I thought yoga couldn't hurt. Turns out I was wrong - some of those positions are not friendly! Still, I'll keep trying.

I was extremely proud of myself for not eating pizza when I took my partner out for his birthday. However, it was a strange thing to witness the staff at Pie Five struggle so mightily to fulfill my request for a crustless pizza.

Having been a subscriber to r/keto on Reddit back in the days of my ketogenic dieting, I knew that places like Cici's Pizza could do a crustless pizza - where they basically stick all the toppings in an aluminum pan and melt it together in the oven. Like a casserole or something.

The Pie Five folks did try to do that for me, but it failed with their pans and oven. What they ended up giving me was the uncooked ingredients piled on one of their pizza pans, based on my suggestion.

At least I had a buy-one-get-one coupon, so I didn't really feel that bad eating something I definitely could have prepared for myself at home. But still, in 10 or 20 years I imagine that more people will learn about how good an all meat, or at least low carb high fat, diet is. They'll learn to demand what their diet needs, just like vegetarians and gluten-free folks do today (they did offer me a gluten-free crust). Restaurants are going to have to learn to adapt to what customers ask for.

There is something so absurd about eating like 1.5 cups of shredded mozzarella off a plate in a restaurant. Yet somehow it's perfectly acceptable when it's melted, on top of a pizza. #murica

I took a picture of ironic wall decoration - seems like it should really say, "we only make one kind of pie: full of carbs"

4 Month Update UGGGGHH

As you can probably surmise from the title, month 4 was a slog and a travesty. I'm getting fatter, and I'm getting less okay with it.

I'm also mad at myself, because the temptations I've been experiencing have been given in to too many times. I should re-write that. I GAVE IN TO TEMPTATION TOO MANY TIMES. There. ownership. Feels good in a shitty way.

In late July and early August, a few cool things happened. I got to hang out with some friends from Crossfit I hadn't seen in a while, because some of them threw a beach/boat party (they're older and richer than I am). I had some kind of party cocktail dispensed from a cooler, and a few beers and some vodka. Then later, I ate the cheese off some pizza they ordered. Less than optimal. Why is beer and other alcohol still okay in my mind??

The Texas Trip

Then a few weeks later, I got to fly out to Texas to see mi familia again. I missed them so. Still do, now. Those 3 days flew by. I tried to minimize diet damage by only ordering burger patties + eggs at Whataburger during breakfast time, and picking barbecue joints to eat. My dad and brother even grilled steaks for us <3 <3 <3. Still, for some reason my hand kept reaching to the other side items - a little piece of bread here, some biscuits there, cole slaw, mac & cheese. All just a few bites. But enough to make my morale sink, my blood sugar rise, and make me wonder if I can really hack this WOE.

And of course, I drank some beer at the top of the Reunion Tower.

Texas beer, naturally

The Bear talked about having difficulty managing cravings for the first SIX YEARS (!!!omgggg) into his all-meat diet. That is less than heartening. Especially since my results aren't exactly jazzy enough for me to keep up my motivation and willpower in the face of Crema Catalan (amazing dessert at a Tapas place my parents took us to in McKinney, TX).

The most frustrating thing is that before this big trip home, I was actually very comfortable and in the groove of eating only meat. I could even imagine a Christmas or Thanksgiving where I would shun all cookies, candy, desserts, etc. I felt a change a'comin'! Then boom. Childhood memories overtake, and suddenly I'm wandering my parents' kitchen, looking for crunchy things to snack on. In case you were wondering, the winner was a bowl of tortilla chips, saltines, and graham crackers. <------- SO PATHETIC.

Food is still love when it comes to my family, apparently.

My stomach had been giving me problems before we left for TX, and my not-so-solid stools continued during my carby weekend. That was last weekend, and for some reason I still have diarrhea. My body must have to go through some kind of re-adaptation every fucking time I slip. I'll try my hardest to remember this in the future.

(Oh, and since my 120 day mark on this diet was the day after I got back from my trip, I weighed myself. 193 pounds. That is 8 pounds up from last month, and it is like a fucking knife in my heart. I'm hoping that can mostly be explained by the carbs.)

Sometimes though, just sticking with the diet doesn't even help me. Take yesterday.

The Saturday Saga

My friend Marcos and I went to the KC Ethnic Enrichment festival. A really fun time where different organizations around the city set up booths to sell their country's food and knick-knacks, and there's a main stage with performances. The biggest lines were at the Hawaii booth (for sno-cones) and the Mexico booth. Which tells you all you need to know about Midwest America.

I had a grand time at the festival, sidestepping all of the worst, most delicious-looking things (povitica, Thai coffee, American Indian Fry Bread, bacon rolls). I had some various meat-on-a-stick things from Laos and the Philippines.

I had 2 beers. The horror, I know.

I thought I had been doing great all day. Hadn't taken any insulin, but later after I came home (around 7:30 pm) when I checked my sugar it was 174. Not great, but not bad considering the beers. I corrected with 2 units I believe.

Had some ribeye steak for dinner - 1.16 lbs said the package. This is where I made my fatal error I think. I gave myself 4 units of insulin.

Normally this would be ok for a pound of meat, but I didn't check my blood sugar beforehand, so I probably would have been ok with just 3 units. Well, later, around 11 pm, I started feeling funny. So I got a few bites of summer sausage, 4 hot dogs, and some eggs. I was trying to chase away my low blood sugar, but it wasn't happening. I wasn't even hungry anymore, but I was trying to choke down all this food. It was terrible. I checked myself like 15 minutes after eating all this - 52.

Felt shitty for like an hour, whilst I ate some of Tim's dark chocolate, found some crappy sugar-free candies I munched on (because sometimes the oligosaccharides in them can raise my blood sugar anyway), and took a sip of a real Coke we somehow had in our fridge from Tim's brother's stash.

My life is a comedy of errors - I decide to commit to just meat, only to be thrown a loop with taking too much insulin. I had no cheese in the house, unfortunately. It's hard to treat a low with just meat, even if it's processed. So coke and chocolate it is. (I was really trying to get away from cheese, but maybe I need to keep it stocked.)

I finally went to bed after I tested my blood sugar at 61. Still felt low and crappy. Oh, and I also still had diarrhea. WHAT THE FUCK IS MY LIFE?!

But I still count yesterday as a fun day since I got to hang out with Marcos and see some fun ethnic food and garb. And hey, I had some weird vivid dreams (one upside of carb time).

*End*

Woke up this morning at 196. This really makes me want to throw up my hands and go back to keto. But I've committed a year to this to just find out how much better (or worse, now that I think of it) my body can be on an all-meat diet.

I think my T1 diabetes really hinders my ability to stay on this meat diet. Or, is it my preference to control my blood sugars what is really making me fail?

What if I were to increase my basal unit of 10 Lantus units to 12 (or whatever it takes), then not take any Humalog for bolus?

Am I willing to put up with higher blood sugars over the course of an undetermined period of time, in order to make the diet easier and try to see that they come down little by little on their own? I'm not sure.

This is what some of the T2 diabetics have done in the Zeroing In On Health Facebook group. Of course, most don't take insulin...

I'll have to think about that.

Ok, I think I've rambled on enough. I'll leave you with the only measurements I bothered to take of myself, besides my aforementioned weight. Really really really hope it's just due to the beer and accidental carbs of yesterday.

87 cm waist (formerly 82.5)

121.5 cm hips (formerly 114.5)

This blog is turning out to be more negative than I'd hoped it would be. Pretty bummed.

I'll leave with a positive thought. My nails are freakin' fantastically long and strong! They haven't broken, but they do bend sometimes. I'm thinking about cutting them, as sometimes typing gets annoying with nails this long. But part of me wants to see how long they can get!

Long nails. That polish did smell like grape for a short while.

Today is day 30!

Halleluia, I have made it! Day 30 of drinking nothing but water and eating nothing but meat and animal products!

The past few days were pretty uneventful as far as symptoms/improvements go. I still appear to waver back and forth between solid and loose stool depending on how much fat I eat or if my period happens. I also thought I was getting another pimple on my chin, but the very next day I woke up and that same spot was significantly shrunken/dried up. I can't even find where I thought I had that pimple now!

I'm confident that my body and mind can only improve from here, which is why I'm continuing upon this meat path for at least another year, if not many more. This is what I intended from the beginning. I wasn't so naive as to believe I'd lose all my weight in this 30-day experiment. In fact, I don't think I've lost anything besides the water/bloating I originally made myself gain from my pre-meat carb gorgefest. But I'm going to really give it some serious effort.

Real talk: This is the latest thing I'm trying in an effort to reach my goal of 140 lbs. I really hope it is the last.

The insulin/blood sugar situation appears to have been sorted out for now. I'm injecting more Humalog and slightly more Lantus. My numbers have been in the 100-130 mg/dl range more often, with some 80s peppered in. For now, I am happy.

Slight mishap on Saturday with some insulin overdosing when I ate an entire rack of lamb for dinner (it was just so good - and Tim didn't want any because he only likes meat when it's well-done brown, not pink). I thought it had more protein than it did, which is why a few hours after I'd eaten, I checked my blood sugar and it was 51.

I was panicking, not wanting to derail my meat/no sweets progress, but also wanting desperately to shove some candy or other food in my mouth so that bad hypoglycemic feeling would pass.

I chose to eat some cream cheese. And by that, I mean an entire block.

#diabetesproblems, am I right people??

Despite this block of cheese only having less than 8 grams of carbs, and only about 16 grams of protein, a few hours later I checked and my blood sugar had risen to 138. Does this seem crazy to you? It did to me. I guess when it comes to insulin dosing and eating, your body can always surprise you.

I really try not to eat cheese a lot or make it the main focus of any meal or snack. But it's nice to know that cheese is sort of my new candy, and can fulfill the purpose of making my blood sugar rise when I need it.

My plan for my blog now is to update monthly at least, with measurement and progress updates. I don't want to weigh in more often than that for fear of making myself absolutely crazy. I'm already a 29-year-old woman, who is ethnic and raised in America, and also fat ever since I can remember. So, the less time I spend on the scale the better.

Meat is love.

In the home stretch

Today is day 24, and I'm feeling good! I think ground beef and ribeye does a body nice. Last week's pot roast experiment did not end up so well. Think cramping and camping out on the porcelain. I wonder if it was too much protein?

Anyway, my itchiness appears to be subsiding, and I haven't noticed many if any new blemishes on my face. I'm lovin' it. I've been on an early period this week too, so I'm interested to know how The Crimson Wave will be for me next month when I've been on this way of eating for longer.

The face this egg is making reflects how I felt when I woke up Monday morning (yesterday) and my blood sugar was 207 fasting.

Mother. effing. 207.

I had to make sure I wasn't using expired insulin. Whaddya know, I WAS. Exp date was 10/2014. I always tried to stretch out the usage of my insulin pens beyond what was probably acceptable (30 days). But yikes. My bad.

Replaced my Humalog with a fresh pen. I'm trying not to be afraid of dosing myself as I need it. I'm going to get my numbers down or go low trying.

This 207 was also probably the result of my less than optimal meals at restaurants this weekend while the in-laws were in town. I think I managed very well though, and I know enough to not go to a Mexican restaurant if I can help it. Or at least, not Taqueria Mexico. 

I got a plain carne asada steak, and some huevos con jamon. I tasted it and I could tell the ham was adulterated with something sweet. It tasted like something I might get in a Chinese (well, American Chinese) restaurant. 

Proud to say I did avoid any tortilla chips, breads, and supplementary potatoes in all incarnations. Maybe I can say I'm #winning even if my diabetes hasn't gotten with the program entirely. 

OH MY GOD

My blood sugar was a bit high this morning, I realize. 157 when I woke up. I didn't correct. But come the fuck on, 193 as I just tested??! 3 hours postprandial??!!!

Calm. 

Calm. 

Think soothing thoughts.

I took 2 units of Humalog. This routine is getting so old.

Now that I look at what I ate (5 oz sandwich ribeye, 3 slices of bacon, only about 500 cal total), the protein amount may have been out of whack with my fat amount. I think I'm going to need to stick to fatty ground beef more often in the morning. 

This fucking chronic condition, in addition to being associated with elevated risk for heart disease, kidney failure, neuropathy, amputations etc. also makes one prone to swearing.

Day 19 and I'm kinda pissed

Just when I had gotten all cocky and settled with my awesome blood sugar numbers while on keto, I decide to try this thing and now my dead pancreas is even more angry for some reason.

Here are my past week's numbers (all BS values are mg/dl):

Wed April 29 (last Crossfit day)

Fasting 8:26 am - 132

10:31 am - 200 (spike due to intense exercise, I believe I corrected)

2:21 pm - 95

5:50 pm - 86

10:59 pm - 104

Thurs April 30

Fasting 8:47 am - 121

4:21 pm - 90

10:02 pm - 115

Fri May 1 

Fasting 8:36 am - 97

3:41 pm - 130

10:03 pm - 132

11:41 pm - 155

Sat May 2

Fasting 10:11 am - 137

3:14 pm - 108

10:09 pm - 146

Sun May 3

Fasting 10:30 am - 139

1:45 pm  - 148

4:58 pm - 138

8:26 pm - 133

10:55 pm - 129

Mon May 4

Fasting 8:30 am - 111

11:48 am - 157

4:42 pm - 131

11:26 pm - 132

Tues May 5 

Fasting 9:03 am - 143

1:02 pm - 142

10:33 pm  - 184 (!!??)
It is at this point I freaked out and took 2 corrective Humalog units (one shot), and raised my Lantus from 7 units to 8 units at bedtime (one shot, though I'm considering splitting into two. I remember Dr. Bernstein saying that if a shot is larger than 6 or so units, it doesn't get absorbed the right way.).

Wed May 6

Fasting 8:05 am - 108

11:55 am - 180 (!!?? this was only a few hours after eating a 5 oz sandwich ribeye steak. Fatty and good. Makes no sense)

2:17 pm - 135

4:32 pm - 101

9:28 pm - 121

11:39 pm - 110

Thurs May 7

Fasting 8:42 am - 157

This is the last number I have, and so frustrating. Granted, I will say that last night at 10 pm I decided to eat probably 12 oz of ground beef. My hunger signals that day were strange. I ate until very stuffed, Thanksgiving stuffed, at that nighttime meal.

My numbers are definitely better than many other type 1 diabetics can say, and I'm lucky. I also realize I live a blessed existence, having access to all the medical supplies and medicines I need. After 17 years (my Diabetiversary is some time this month) I think I should just trust that I have the skills to slowly correct my dosing.

My fear is going low and ruining my meat experiment. I'm also hoping to keep my A1c number in check for the next time I see my doctor, in June I believe. Ironic that too much stress about keeping my numbers good can in itself contribute to high blood sugar. SMH, man.

I'm the idiot

...who let her grip get too slack on her greasy microwave container, and ended up dropping two hamburger patties and their grease on the break room floor today at work. But I still ate those patties, because I have no shame and they were delicious.

Luckily, the spill was localized to the corner just near the microwave, under the counter. I mopped it up as best I could, and just hoped no one would decide to dance over there and break their hip.

Day 16 almost in the books. Oh, and I had a real, honest to goodness poop today! It had been a few days, and I have been EATING. Probably 2500, 3000 cals most days. Amazing.

For little 5'3" me, the eating to satiety part it's been really awesome. I've restricted myself to less than 1800 too many days of my life. I'm loving this meatness. It's getting easier to resist the sweet "foods" around me. Today we had donuts at work for the billionth time this year. I didn't even lift the flap up off the box to see what kinds there were.

I seem to be sleeping really well. Not that easy for me to get up in the morning yet, but I'm sure it'll improve with time.

One other bodily improvement I noticed is that my tongue is no longer coated. I've had a white coated tongue for as long as I can remember! This is weird and great! I'm on my way to being normal!!

Blood sugars have been high still, in the 130s to 150s. Remarkably steady, but still high. I hate that I have to pump myself with insulin. If I weren't the level-headed human I am, I'd skip my Lantus dose for a few days (weeks?) to trim down. They call that "diabulemia," kids, and it's a big no-no. You could literally die. I could give myself diabetic-ketoacidosis.

Insulin makes you fat, but it also makes you live. I kinda like living, so I'll stick with the plan ;)

Second week ramblings

I completed day 10 today, and things are going pretty smoothly. I still have no clue about buying and cooking meat, so there's that. I just way undercooked a $27 ribeye, but whatevs. I still ate it. Raw/blue steak, I ain't afraid. I should probably buy a good meat thermometer. This is what it looked like pre-cooking, didn't take an after because I was all up in it, my hands were too greasy to work the camera phone:

Still experiencing that slightly phlegmy feeling in my throat after eating a meal. I wonder what that is?? It's not terrible, I can tolerate it. Just interesting.

My body seems stuck in its weight/measurements. I'm probably on the thinner side of where I've usually been most likely (I'm guessing) the mid 160s range. Of course, that really means nothing from what I hear. Some folks seem to lose inches yet gain weight. After 29 years it's hard to walk outside of the normal dieting box, where we used to talk in pounds lost, calories eaten, etc. This is a new frontier.

Today's Crossfit workout was a doozy. It took me 19:44 to complete what amounted to a total of 1400 m of rowing, and 60 split-jerks, 75 lbs. Not the Rx level, but I was dying just the same. My endurance sucks anyway, but I don't think my eating is doing anything for it at this point. Maybe it will?

Is this high intensity exercise the great thing I once thought it was? I tend to balk when the time it takes to finish a workout bleeds over into the 20+ minutes category. Maybe my exercise tastes will change the deeper I get into this carnivore, yukshik lifestyle, just like I'm forcing my food tastes to eventually change. But it's also a social thing for me too, who am I kidding - I like those people. And I don't go every day, but maybe 3-4 per week is still too much for optimal health/recovery, but I'm not sure.

Blood sugars have been a bit lower today than they have been so far on this WOE, though still high after a high intensity workout. 195 today, taken fasting and about 45 minutes after my workout (wasn't hungry this morning). A lower-protein, more dairy/nut/veg heavy keto diet didn't used to do that to me as often - I could work out and then test my sugar, and I'd be at the most in the 140s. Hopefully that will even out, though I may have to change my insulin regimen.

I currently take 7 units of Lantus at bedtime, and Humalog on an as-needed basis. It's hard to know what my sliding scale is now that I'm not a regular ol' ADA sugar burner. I still generally follow the 1 unit per 15 gm carb rule, and I may extend that to 1 unit per 30 gm protein if I test before eating and I'm high. I really just go with my instinct by now, as I've been on the same medication regiment for probably 10 yrs at this point. I'm not the most scientific diabetic, and I wouldn't consider myself lazy... it's just that eating low carb usually makes things so much simpler.

The last time I had my Hemoglobin A1c checked in... March? I wanna say? It was 5.2, I do remember that. Fucking stellar for a type 1 diabetic, as it puts me in the non-damaged pancreas people crowd! Keto was great for my numbers.

Then again, if eating an all meat diet is for iconoclasts and folks that don't tend to trust the medical establishment, maybe even if my A1c creeps higher, it's better for my health and longevity overall? But how can I know?

Who cares really. I just want that ever-elusive HSIS weight to happen for me. You know - Hot Shit in a Swimsuit. Instagram model territory baby yasss.